Lie to Me
by Mouth Sealed
Summary: Shizuo gets hit by a truck and loses his memory. Izaya takes the opportunity, tells him that they are lovers, purely for his own enjoyment. Shizuo believes this because he feels a connection with him. However, things do not go according to Izaya's plan.
1. He Should've Died!

It was one of those days when God was bored and wanted to 'have fun' with humans: In one Summer when the sun was as hot as an overheated oven, the usual roar of Ikebukuro's fortissimo was heard.

Most people who preferred to have a calm day because the heat was anything but pleasant, grunted in annoyance because they knew what would happen after a roar was heard.

Yes, they were so afraid because that meant they could die now, but damn it, it was SUMMER.

* * *

><p>"<strong>IIIZAAAYAAAAA!<strong>" Shizuo ran through a sidewalk, a street lamp in his hold. He passed through the pedestrians that chose to live longer, chasing the 'flea' who was running a few meters in front of him.

"**DON'T YOU DARE TO RUN, FLEA!**" Shizuo threw the street lamp like ones playing darts.

The informant avoided the attack easily by jumped onto a shop's banner and grabbed a random window to provide him the leverage to jumped again onto a building's roof floor.

Izaya snickered. He was panting, but he wasn't tired yet. This was one of many chasing games with the protozoan and was a piece of cake to him.

He laughed when he saw the Neanderthal whipped his head left and right, looking for him. Things were going according to plan…

"It's time to shut you up, Shizu-chan…" Izaya licked his lips and squatted, he picked his binoculars to get a perfect view of one of thousands schemes he had planned.

"One…"

Shizuo started to get angrier by seconds, mocha eyes squinting suspiciously.

"Two…"

Shizuo walked onto the middle of an empty, serene road to get a broader view.

"THIEF!" a really loud scream was heard from the other side of the road, coming from a girl that was pointing at a man who was running away from her.

"Ah?" Shizuo stared at the scene, registering whatever was happening into his brain.

He just figured out what happened when…

Well, yeah. Everything went black.

* * *

><p>"Hehehe…" Izaya laughed sinisterly. His shoulders trembled. "Hahahahaha…"<p>

"HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!" he curled his fists to contain his laughing fit, ignoring the binoculars which had fallen to the concrete floor with a loud thud.

"**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**" Izaya grabbed his head with his hands, tangling his fingers between his hair. "**SHIZU-CHAN! IS FINALLY DEAD!**"

* * *

><p>It was all over the news.<p>

Izaya ran to his apartment to see the news himself on his TV. When he finally arrived, he was skipping his way, took the remote control, and turned on the TV.

"Look at this, Namie-san!" Izaya exclaimed happily. Ones shouldn't be too happy when someone died, but oh, well…

Namie simply took a glance from behind the files she was reading. She was born multi-tasker. She could read and listen to two different things simultaneously, so she turned her gaze to the files again.

[_Breaking news!_] The newsreader's face appeared when the opening sequence is done.

Izaya's grin grew wider.

[_On Tuesday, June 14, 2011, at 15:34, it has been reported that a traffic accident happened in Ikebukuro, Tokyo, near Sunshine 60._]

Izaya laughed maniacally when he saw Shizuo's face appeared on the screen.

[_The traffic accident caused one casualty. The victim __is__ Shizuo Heiwajima (27). Witnesses claimed that they saw the man standing in the middle of a road, attention __focused __on a robbery that happened near the scene, unaware of __the__ truck __that was __coming to him._]

"Yeah, of course. He IS an idiot, after all." Izaya commented.

[_The truck driver ran away. __The G__overnment released several polices to search for the suspect._]

But what Izaya heard after this wasn't a part of his scheme.

[_The victim was quickly brought to the nearest hospital. The hospital officials reported that there is no serious injury, except a severe brain-shock due to a hard bump of his head __on__to the asphalt road._]

Izaya froze in his position, eyes blinking madly though he wasn't paying attention to a show that was now playing on the TV after the breaking news has ended.

'_What?_'

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note -<strong>__Another fill from me for a prompt in the kink meme. "While chasing Izaya around Ikebukuro, Shizuo gets hit by a car (again). When he regains consciousness, Izaya discovers that Shizuo has completely lost his memory. This presents Izaya with a rare opportunity, a docile, maleable Shizuo completely under his control, so naturally he takes advantage. He tells him that they were lovers {purely for his own amusement, not out of any (conscious) desire for a relationship}. Shizuo believes this because he feels an instinctive connection between them, and moves in with him. However, the more time Izaya spends reacquainting Shizuo with the world, the more sides Izaya sees of him that he didn't know existed, and the more he wishes that the lie was true._

_1. Gradual attraction please! Izaya tells Shizuo he doesn't expect anything out of him, although Shizuo feels bad that he doesn't remember someone so important._

_2. Shizuo being shocked over his own strength. Also, if possible, I'd like his rages to still happen, because that's a part of who he is, although he's horrified afterwards."_


	2. His Evil Plan

[_I'm glad you're okay._]

Shizuo read those words and smiled hollowly.

As far as his brain could think about whatever happened before he finally sat in the hospital bed, some things should've been happened because he just felt like he was released from a pitch black shadow that covered his eyes and plugged his ears.

Like, he understood Japanese, he knew his gender was 'male', he knew that slim figure sitting in front of him was a 'female', he knew that this was a 'hospital', and the most important point was that he knew he shouldn't have known about all of this if nothing happened before that 'pitch black' moment.

Confused? So did him.

"Thank you," Shizuo replied the woman who wore a tight black suit that didn't reflect light... like the suit was made of shadows. "Er**—**"

[_Celty._] The woman named Celty shoved her PDA to him.

"Celty. Right." Shizuo nodded. He felt so bad that he didn't remember everyone he met today. That freak doctor with glasses, that huge man with really black skin who spoke broken Japanese, that blond who claimed herself as his underclassman, and that man with dreadlocks who claimed himself as his employer.

'**_MY HEAD HURTS I FEEL LIKE THROWING SOMETHING._**' Shizuo grunted inwardly. He also didn't know why he has a really bad temper. Whenever the nurses ask whether he has remembered something, whenever the doctors shove him photos he didn't know when and where they were taken, whenever... ah, he didn't want to strain his brain anymore.

But as soon as he met Celty, he knew this woman was a nice person. She didn't shove his 'past memories' to him and ever since she sat in front of him, all she did was asking how he was feeling lately, which was really good, since he felt like talking to someone to lift the burden in his heart and mind.

_[I understand._] Celty typed again on her PDA and shoved it to Shizuo. [_Be thankful because you've got friends that know your past. I've already given up on searching for the memories I've lost. Nevertheless, I'm grateful I came to this city._]

"Yeah, I'm glad you're here," Shizuo replied nicely. Then something came into his mind, "By the way. Nothing is free, right? So who paid for my hospital fees?"

Celty shifted awkwardly, she seemed like she was weighing whether she should answer him about that or not. Shizuo watched as the woman kept tapping her fingers on the PDA, only to delete what she has typed.

"Don't take it so seriously," Shizuo chuckled. "I just want to thank whoever paid for these," he threw his arm in the air to emphasize his point.

The woman thought for some time.

[_Izaya did._]

Celty finally showed her PDA screen to Shizuo.

"Have I met him before? No, not in my 'past memories', but was he there when everyone came here?" Shizuo asked, genuinely curious. He was told that he only has a younger brother which was in another province for work and would be able to visit him around next week and he remembered that his brother's name was anything but 'Izaya'.

Whoever has this odd name was, must be a really nice person, since hospital fees in Japan were extremely expensive.

Not to mention that, he felt... something strange that itched his mind when that name came up, like he had known this person for so long. This person must've been someone really important to him in his 'previous' life...

Celty was about to show her PDA to Shizuo again when someone barged into the room.

Shizuo's eyes widened.

That man was so petite, his hair was smooth and the color was really nice, like a raven's, and his eyes were glinting red. Minus the hideous-looking coat and silver rings on his index fingers, this man was actually attractive.

And somehow, somehow Shizuo knew, this was Izaya. _That_ Izaya which Celty had mentioned.

"Shiiizuuu-chaaan!" Izaya skipped his way to the blond and hugged him tight. "And this must be the courier," he peeled himself off of Shizuo and looked at Celty which was now standing on her feet, shoulders tensed.

"'_What are you doing here?_' That must be the first sentence that came up in your head, am I right? And no, I didn't mean to be sarcastic about that 'head' comment." Izaya put his hands inside the sleeves of his coat. "Let's just say... I desperately want to meet him? It's been so long that the sight of Shizu-chan's face makes me feel nostalgic," he smirked at Shizuo which was staring at him, dumb-founded.

[_Stop blabbering. What are you planning?_]

"Accusing a person out of nothing, that's really mean of you, you know." Izaya simply smiled at that.

_[Don't even dare to think that I would stand and watched as you were planning something evil. If I ever caught you threatening Shizuo, I would finish you off without hesitation._]

"I have no idea what you're talking about, honestly." Izaya sighed dismissively. "Anyway, could you please leave the two of us alone?"

[_No._]

"Oh, c'mon, even if he lost his memories, I doubt he lost his powers. Besides, you can wait outside if you're so ill-thinking about me."

_[I won't let you and your fishy brain gets the best of Shizuo._]

Izaya sighed heavily again. He looked at Shizuo with a pleading look. "Shizu-chan, please?"

Shizuo watched those eyes intently. Yes, there must be a connection between him and Izaya. He actually could feel something about everyone he used to know, and his feelings differed one to another, and this one, it was so intense, so fiery, but he doubt it was hatred. Even his name was anything but maliciousness.

So he decided to look at Celty and smiled, "Just five minutes, Celty?"

If Celty has a head, she should've been sighing disapprovingly right now. But she didn't want to make Shizuo angry, so she simply nodded and walked away, and took a suspicious glance at Izaya which replied her gaze with that usual disgusting smile of his.

When Izaya saw the door finally shut securely, he exhaled and looked at Shizuo sharply.

"Well, let's have a little chit-chat, shall we...

"Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo swallowed a lump, feeling so vulnerable, as he watched the man in a black coat walking toward the window, humming to himself.

"You don't remember me even just a bit?" asked Izaya, his fingers trailing on the window.

"..."

"Hm?" Izaya turned his back and looked at the blond, eyes slanted dangerously.

"You're creepy." Shizuo retorted.

"You're not answering my question, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo tsked. Somehow he couldn't see the man in the eyes. Those red eyes staring at him so intensely, as if reading his mind. It confused him...

_It annoyed him._

Not to mention that silly and embarassing nickname. How could he let that slim raven called him with such a hideous nickname back then?

"...I can't." Shizuo lowered his head.

"_'Can't_' what?"

"**AAARGHHH! I SAID I JUST CAN'T!** And I don't want to think about anything right now, got it! You're pissing me off!" Shizuo yelled loudly at the man. He was expecting the man to be scared or petrified at him, just like those doctors and nurses, but what he saw frozen him.

He didn't even stayed calm or collected like his acquaintances.

He laughed.

Laughed.

Laughed.

_Laughed._

Shizuo could feel the veins on his temples popped out. Now he felt like throwing the nightstand to this raven...

"Nothing is funny." Shizuo grunted. He glared at Izaya with his honey-colored eyes.

"What a simple minded protozoan." Izaya smirked as he walked closer to Shizuo. "As expected from Shizu-chan... Though I was anticipating you to throw things at me. Guess I'm a bit lucky right now.

"Let's just assume that you don't remember anything about me...

"Including our status as 'lovers'," he sat on Shizuo's bed, his gaze piercing straight to Shizuo's eyes.

"**LO**—****" Shizuo was about to echo about Izaya's last word, but Izaya easily cut him off.

"So let me introduce myself again, Shizu-chan." Izaya who never left his smirk, snatched a flick blade from his pocket and slashed Shizuo's chest, leaving a thin red line on the pale blue fabric.

"I'm Orihara Izaya. We'll have lots of fun."

"**WHAT THE F**—****"

"Remember anything?" asked Izaya calmly while putting his flick blade in the air, as if claiming to the world that he just slashed the strongest man in Ikebukuro... for the second time.

"**WHAT SHOULD I REMEMBER! YOU JUST SLASHED ME, FLEA!**" Shizuo roared loudly while holding his chest, trying to stop the blood that kept flowing out.

"A brute as always, eh?" Izaya smirked. He walked closer to Shizuo and trapped the man between his arms and the wall.

"First thing first, you can't die..." Izaya leaned to Shizuo's ear, feeling the blond locks brushing his face, and whispered slyly.

"W-What are you doing! Get off of me!"

"Second, shouldn't you be thankful to me?" Izaya pulled his head to face the blond in the eyes. "What did you call me just now?"

"What!" that was the only answer Shizuo could come up with.

"Ck, ck, ck." Izaya faked a disappointed sigh. In fact, he was having the best fun of the year right now.

"You called me 'Flea'," Izaya drew a straight line on Shizuo's jaw, following the jaw line. "...Shizu-chan."

Shizuo's eyes widened dramatically.

'_What is this? This bubbly feeling?_

'_It's like I really want to punch the guy's head, bash his brain on the wall, and stomp on his body until it breaks._

'_Like... I hate this man **very much**._

'_But this feeling is so, so intense, it takes a serial killer to be hated so much like this._

'_And a serial killer wouldn't be hanging around in a public place like this, right?_

_'There's no way me in the past hated this man that much._

'_No way..._'

'_Oh, my... Look at this idiot's face..._' Izaya thought while gazing at Shizuo's eyes intensely. He needed to make an impression that he was the one that used to, always, and would forever dominated between them two.

And after this blond finally surrendered...

He would break this man like what he had been longing for.

What a sweet, sweet accomplishment.

But for now, he needed to hold his hatred. He really wanted to make Shizuo's life as fucked up as possible right now, but he should be patient... for the best meal was best served when ones had starved for a good measure...

So he leaned closer to Shizuo's face, licking the blond's jaw slowly, teasingly...

"**What the fuck are you doing! STOP!**" Shizuo struggled, trying to break free, but something planted long ago in his head told him that he should be quiet in hospitals.

He was told that there were patients who were ill and needed to rest.

"I said stop!" Shizuo couldn't help but to pull the raven away, but Izaya insisted on licking him, his tongue already swipping the blond's earlobe.

"S**—**stop..." Shizuo started to feel something funny in his body, his breath started to grow faster.

"I don't expect much from you..." Izaya whispered on his ear. "I don't demand you to regain your feelings for me that fast...

"But things have to start from somewhere, right?

"Shizu-chan..." Izaya kissed the blond on the forehead and dragged his lips down to the blond's nose.

"Let's live together again... in our home," Izaya kissed Shizuo on the lips. "Okay?"


	3. Danger?

**: : A FEW DAYS LATER**

"Here we are..." Izaya opened his apartment door and scooted a little to give his soon-to-be housemate a way to get inside.

Shizuo looked around, eyes roaming every corner of the apartment insides curiously. Shizuo realized quickly that his 'lover' in the past sure was a really rich man, despite his young age. Now Shizuo wondered how Izaya could get all of this... What did he do for a living?

"Thank you," Shizuo gave a slight smile to the raven after he stepped in and Izaya closed the door.

"For what?" the raven asked. Shizuo could see that Izaya wasn't clueless at all, so the question was obviously a rhetorical one, but Shizuo decided to answer that nevertheless.

"For giving me a place under the roof to live," Shizuo's hazel eyes to the floor. "I heard from my employer that I wasn't a really rich dude, my wages were barely covered my living costs."

"As expected from a debt-collector's bodyguard," said Izaya with a sigh. He peeled his coat off of his body and tucked it nicely on the jet black sofa and turned his back to see the blond. "But I'm not a money-freak, just so you know. I decided to live with you... because I love you."

Shizuo swallowed a lump at that blunt confession, his face reddened.

But soon, the blush on his face disappeared, replaced with a sad expression.

'_This protozoan has never failed to be unpredictable. What's with that expression?_' Izaya watched intently, trying to figure out the reason behind that expression and at the same time, hoping for the blond to speak.

"I... I shouldn't forget someone as important as you.." Shizuo arched his lips upward to an awry smile.

Izaya smirked. "Fret not, I'm sure you'll regain your memories soon." Izaya then clapped his hands and widened his smirk. "That aside, our bedroom is ready. You can take a bath now before sleep, or later after dinner, suit yourself. Bathroom and bedroom are upstairs, kitchen is right there, and my workplace is there. If there's something you need to know, just ask me."

With that, Izaya walked to his desk and comforted himself on the leather swivel chair, turned on the computer, and lost all of his attention from the real world.

Shizuo walked forward to reach for the stairs, and gaped in awe as soon as he saw the bookcases stacked nearly on every side of the apartment, filled neatly with books he sure as Hell would be too difficult to understand with his brain. He realized too that Izaya has a really good taste when he touched the rails, feeling the smooth, cold iron in his hold.

'_What happened on our first meeting?_

'_How and when did we become lovers?_

'_**Who are you?**_'

Those were the questions that Shizuo kept securely in his mind, and he never intended to bring it up to Izaya. A part of him told himself that it would be very disrespectful to Izaya and those questions alone would make his lover sad, but...

Another part of him, the same part that urged him to throw things when he was annoyed, the same part that told him to bring the raven to death already, kept bumping him with, "Danger! Danger! Danger!" As if warning him that those questions c would bring him to a great, great misery that would be inescapable once he was trapped inside.

* * *

><p>At night, when Shizuo finally done taking a bath and having a very awkward time on dinner together with Izaya where none of them spoke, Shizuo watched intently at his own reflection on a wall mirror in Izaya's<strong>—<strong>scratch that**—**their bedroom.

Shizuo soon realized that the roots of his hair were dark brown, and frowned at that.

'_Why did I dye my hair? Did I dye it regularly?_'

Then he looked at his hazel eyes. So beautiful... His eyes reminded him of a marble texture...

His gaze kept going down, to his nice, toned body. He realized too that he has a really nice-built body. Tall, not too muscular but well-toned, flat abdomens... Not to mention the husky, baritone voice he has...

Now he wondered why the old him worked as a debt-collector's bodyguard. He should've make it well in the entertainment industry.

But when he thought about it, actually working as a celebrity was a bothersome thing. Maybe the 'old him' thought so too.

His sight dropped to a cabinet beside the mirror. Out of curiosity, he landed his hand on the cabinet handle, but the said item wouldn't budge.

He tried to pull the handle harder...

But soon it broke in his grip.

'**_WHAT?_**' Shizuo looked at his hand and the severed handle, eyes widened, petrified.

"So, even though you've lost your memories, your powers still sticking like a magnet, huh," a rather high-pitched voice was heard from the door.

Shizuo craned his head and saw Izaya in grey hoodies, very dark grey pants, and a pair of white socks with blue rims.

"Your power is inhuman, Shizu-chan..." Izaya walked closer to Shizuo and hugged him from behind, resting his head on the blond's broad back.

"Does this power... hurt?" Shizuo sighed sadly.

Izaya slanted his eyes mockingly and smirked.

"It does hurt, obviously... But don't let yourself succumb to it... You have to learn how to master it.

"And I can help you with that."

Shizuo watched the lean back closed the bedroom door and kept wondering...

It felt like they really had some kind of connection, but... at the same time, although the physical distance between them was just a mere two meters...

It was as if there was thick wall in between.

'_As if he... is closing his heart to everyone..._' Shizuo lowered his head and looked at his own feet as Izaya turned his back and faced the blond.

'_Like he opens his embrace to me, lets me to get closer to him..._' Shizuo's thought kept streaming and streaming while Izaya walked closer to him and arched his lips upward to a thin smile, with a really slight hint of mockery.

Soon they joined their fingers together, and Izaya hugged him dearly, though in contrast Shizuo felt so bitter and awkward.

'_...but covers his true heart with masks he chooses to show._'


	4. Hazy

The next days passed so slow to Shizuo. He sensed something bad ever since he met Izaya after he lost his memories, but he couldn't decipher what the 'bad' thing was. He just knew it.

Nevertheless, one day when Izaya asked him to take a stroll around the neighborhood when the sky was already golden, Shizuo relented and ended up walking side-by-side with Izaya, passing the Shinjuku side-walks.

Shizuo remembered this area. He remembered the wide sidewalks, along with bicycles passing by, a few pedestrians, some brought their dogs for a short walk, and students giggling to each other, walking cheerfully to their own houses.

Today was the same. He breathed the same fresh air, devoid of pollution; he felt the same mild wind stroking his skin. It was so peaceful.

He literally hummed to himself, completely forgetting about Izaya that was walking beside him, oblivious of those crimson eyes studying him intently. He knotted his eyebrows as he saw the tall man smiled to himself, his face was so peaceful.

To be honest Izaya hasn't even come up with a perfect plan with Shizuo. He just found the vulnerable brute would be fun to play with, so he claimed to take him under his guidance. Shizuo was an adult, so he didn't need any parental guides or other bothersome administration matters to be done. It was really easy for Izaya to complete his first plan, since no one was heartless enough to crush Shizuo's dignity that the blond could end up as Izaya's another pet doll.

Izaya was the man that enjoy being somewhat detached from everything around him. He would surely prefer to sit far away from the stage, and watch the drama called 'humanity' from a far. He loved humans.

Soon, he realized that it had become an obsession.

But that didn't matter.

Although his love was so twisted and humans rejected his love dead flat, he still loved them. As long as he loved humans, nothing mattered. Humans were so addicting to him. There were things completely unknown to him kept blooming before him and lapsing back into unknown every single day.

He loved if his plans worked well, but he loved it more when things didn't go smoothly.

Shizuo, however was different.

'_This protozoan is completely unpredictable. One second he's dumb as an ox and the next he 's as sharp as a whip. That was why I hate him so much._

'_But this..._

'_His expression clearly doesn't show dumbness... nor sharpness._'

His expression was so peaceful it left Izaya trapped in questions.

However, both thoughts were shattered to pieces when some student lost balance of his bicycle and hit Shizuo on his shoulders, and ended up landing on the hard asphalt side-walks. Shizuo, however, didn't budge even just an inch.

He lifted the bicycle easily and leaned it onto a wall of some random building, and gave his arm to the male student to help him get up, but the boy's ankle was moderately injured and he couldn't even stand.

Shizuo sighed, and he pulled the boy onto his hold and helped him to stand, but the boy screamed when Shizuo gripped the boy's arm too hard.

Immediately Shizuo jolted. He pulled his hand and cold sweat started to appear all over his body.

It came to him...

It came to him like a slideshow: Memories of him succumbed into violence. He literally saw himself punching a lot of people: Thugs, debtors, random people he found really annoying...

Every punch he landed was like a sharp slash of his pride of himself. Every punch brought another painful guiltiness.

Suddenly Shizuo clasped his mouth and walked away, feeling disgusted of himself.

'_Why am I... so violent? Why I was born with this unwanted strength?_

'_How many people have I hurt?_'

Izaya tapped the boy's head to calm him down and helped him, taking over Shizuo's place. His hands were busy helping the boy, but his hawk eyes never left Shizuo. It was the first time he ever saw Shizuo sat down, looking so depressed.

'_So it's true that he hates violence..._' thought Izaya, predicting Shizuo's behavior. '_He probably hates himself._'

Izaya then smirked to himself, and continued to talk with himself inwardly, '_I thought he had overcome about that already, but apparently not. What would you do, Shizuo Heiwajima? I don't have any fixed answer for that._

'_Afterall..._

'_The world is interesting precisely because it doesn't always go where I want it to go._'

* * *

><p>"Ah." Shizuo stopped walking as he saw a bakery shop.<p>

Once Shizuo had calmed down and they brought the kid back home, they continued walking around, albeit the change of the orange sky into navy blue and the golden environment into illuminating lights.

Izaya twitched as he saw Shizuo half-running toward the said shop. '_Bakery shop?_'

Shizuo, however, after realizing that Izaya was still standing there, turned his back and waved his arm, gesturing Izaya to follow him.

Izaya would've been rolling his eyes and follow him if the blond only waved to him, but what he just saw on the taller man's face was a smile.

A really wide smile, his pearly white teeth showed through his red with a bit purple hue colored lips.

Izaya could feel his heart thumped at that, but he put that strange reaction away by shaking his head and walked closer to Shizuo, following him into the shop.

"I wish this could be sweeter..." Shizuo mumbled to himself after he took a bite of a sample cake. "Can I have something like this but sweeter?"

Izaya observed every movement of the blond's, but soon he grew bored as Shizuo only took sample cakes and mumbled how the cake wasn't sweet enough to his liking. He soon took a glance of the bakery shop. It was a rather nice, albeit small, shop, and has a really nice sugary smell.

The information broker was staring at a row of colorful cakes absent-mindedly when the sight of those cakes was blocked by a slice of cake that suddenly filled all of his sight.

Izaya narrowed his eyes as he looked up at the blond that was again, grinning to him.

"What?" Izaya snorted.

"Cake, don't you like this?" Shizuo's face was literally blushing with happiness; he kept shoving the cake to Izaya like a puppy returning back a ball to his master eagerly. "I don't have that much money in my savings, but since you gave me a place to live and all..."

"I'm not that big fan of sweets." Izaya looked away. He could feel his cheeks blushed a little. He couldn't believe he could fall into such a simple smile like that.

"I have a feeling I like sugary stuffs since a long time. Like, I just knew I've been familiar with it for a long time when I watched a cooking channel during my first days in your house. You know, that might sound stupid since I... I... I mean... I mean, the old me did lots of violent actions, but I happen to love this." Shizuo blushed sheepishly, although he stuttered a lot at a particular part because he didn't want himself to sound so bad.

No. More like, he refused to admit that he did violence.

He hated violence.

Izaya smiled slightly. He hated to admit this but he really thought the blond was kind of cute. So he relented and took the paper plate of cake from Shizuo's hand and took a bite.

"Not bad." Izaya mumbled.

"Can I buy a box of this?" Shizuo asked hopefully to Izaya.

Izaya blinked at that. The blond was so dorky; it almost felt like he was going to this shop with a fifth grader.

"Sure, I don't see why not." Izaya answered finally.

As he watched the blond widened his smile and walked toward the cashier, the information broker didn't even realize himself smiling involuntary.

* * *

><p>As they finally arrived at Izaya's apartment Shizuo quickly dragged Izaya by pushing his shoulders towards the sofa and sat the raven onto it, before rushing to the kitchen, leaving Izaya knotted his eyebrows in confusion.<p>

"What are you doing?" Izaya asked, curious, but remained on the sofa.

"Just wait!" Shizuo answered.

Izaya waited, listening to the sound of knife touching a wooden surface. '_He must be cutting something..._'

"Just what are you doing, Shizu-chan?" Izaya really has no idea what the hell the blond was doing and was about to stand up, before Shizuo popped out of the kitchen with two little plates in his hands, with the cake they just bought on top of them.

"Let's eat cake!" Shizuo grinned brightly. He skipped towards Izaya and sat beside him, putting a plate in his lap and take Izaya's hand, putting another plate inside the pale hand.

"I thought I've told you I don't like sweets..." Izaya glared at Shizuo who was already ravishing the cake.

"Doesn't mean you hate them. Eat up!" Shizuo chuckled.

The raven scoffed but took a bite anyway.

'_Delicious..._' thought Izaya inwardly, before blinking his eyes in surprise of his own thoughts. He tried to fight the blush that started to color his cheeks red, secretly peeking at the blond who was still eating the cake happily.

'_The old him... wouldn't be smiling so happily like this to me, right? This man in front of me..._

'_If only he truly... is this happy... to be with me..._' Izaya smiled bitterly.

"Izaya?" Shizuo cocked his head, finally realizing that those crimson orbs were looking at him intently.

"Ah? No, I was... just... thinking..." Izaya looked away.

"Izaya," Shizuo put his plate onto the coffee table and grabbed Izaya's arm, and widened his eyes as he realized that the raven was shivering. "Izaya..."

"No, don't call my name! It's weird!" Izaya slapped Shizuo's hand away from his arm angrily.

Shizuo twitched. '_He was so clingy at the hospital! Why now he acted like we were enemies?_'

Izaya laughed awkwardly. "My bad, Shizu-chan," he exhaled and looked up to the blond. "Let me go this time, ne?"

'_Che... I knew it, it gets harder to look him in the eyes as he grows kind to me... What's wrong with me?_'

"Have you finished the cake? Do you want mine, Shizu-chan? I don't have the hots for sweet cakes, besides they say eating too much glucose will make you stupider, which won't affect you since you have no brain at all, and—"

Izaya couldn't continue his rambles anymore because the blond's lips already landed onto his, sealing them into a kiss.

"You talk too damn much," Shizuo whispered, licking the bits of cake from the rim of Izaya's lips.

* * *

><p>"You're not sleeping anytime soon?" asked Izaya as he slid open the door to the veranda outside his bedroom. He watched the back of the blond who was sitting there on the cold tiles, hugging his knees.<p>

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya called him again when he realized he was ignored.

"...Why did you shove me back then?" Shizuo's deep voice sounded so lonely and guilty.

Izaya narrowed his eyes before sighing defeatedly. "You were too sudden. I was surprised," he lied. Yes, he was caught completely unguarded, but what he hid from the blond was that he... actually liked the kiss. But it was so humiliating for him to fell for a simple kiss like that, not to mention a kiss with the man he hated the most.

'_He has never been predictable._

'_He is like a toy... which I want to break so much due to my hatred, but at the same time... want to play longer with._

'_For me to got into his pace... So degrading._

'_I hate him so much._'

"...Did I hurt you?" Shizuo's voice cut off Izaya's trains of thoughts.

"That was just a kiss!"

"Don't lie to me." Shizuo stopped Izaya's sentence abruptly.

"It hurt me." Shizuo hid his face under his arms. "That boy from today... You...

"I've been thinking about it lately...

"Maybe I want to be loved. I want to have someone to hold on to, so maybe that's why... I accepted your offer to move in to your house, despite my instinct yelling the opposite.

"Maybe the old me was a lonely man. He probably was struggling so hard, trying to be stronger... To be strong enough... to surpress his own power.

"That's kind of illogical, you know? Maybe you and the old me had a very complicated relationship. I mean no one could slash their lover and laughed about it, but then again..." Shizuo laughed. "No one would choose to be together... with a monster... like me..." Shizuo's eyes suddenly lost its light for a moment, before he smiled to Izaya.

"You know, Izaya. Despite all this, maybe...

"I can like you," he ended the conversation by walking away.

"..." Izaya was still there, standing in silence.

Not long later he laughed.

"He... Don't tell me that another neatly cooked plan of mine... is going to be crushed under your feet... again."


	5. Love  Hate

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm glad to see you, Kasuka." Shizuo finally broke the peaceful, totally not awkward silence between him and his only younger brother, Kasuka Heiwajima.

Shizuo and Kasuka were sitting on a random bench at a park. The blond's younger brother has to cover his face with sunglasses and a cap to hide his identity from his fans that might just come up from the sea of humans in an afternoon of Ikebukuro.

Kasuka simply nodded in agreement, his face was as stoic as ever.

"What's with that face, you," Shizuo chuckled while patting his younger brother's head, messing up the actor's brunette hair. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

Kasuka looked up at his older brother. Without even moving a single muscle of his face, he grabbed a plastic bag beside him and pulled out a bottle of milk.

"Get stronger, Brother..." Kasuka said while giving the milk to Shizuo.

Shizuo smiled sadly while taking the bottle of milk.

"...I'm sorry," Shizuo covered his face with his hand. "It must be so painful to you... that your older brother doesn't even remember you anymore..."

"Not particularly," Kasuka answered. "Whoever you're living with right now, as long as it's you... I don't have to worry so much."

Not long after the brief pause after Kasuka's last sentence, two men in suit came and said something to Kasuka that the actor should leave now due to his packed schedule.

"I have to go, Brother," said Kasuka while standing up and looked down to his older brother.

Shizuo couldn't help sighed sadly while scrubbing his eyes that started to get heavier with tears. He felt so guilty that he could even forget about important people in his life, especially his caring and endearing brother. But at the same time, he felt so grateful, that someone as perfect as his younger brother, still sticked with him loyally despite his abnormality strength and short temper.

It felt so nice... and peaceful, being with Kasuka.

Kasuka smiled as he saw Shizuo's sad face.

"Get it together, brother..." he said. "I love you."

* * *

><p>"You seem upset today," the low voice of an executive of Awakusu Group was heard inside the black car with tinted windows.<p>

"They say don't judge a book by the cover, Shiki-san," replied Izaya while looking away from the sight of Shizuo patting Kasuka's shoulder and said their goodbyes. "I might be thinking about how fun it would be if I were to hold another hotpot party."

Shiki glanced at what Izaya just stared at for a brief second before speaking again, completely ignoring the raven's corny joke, "One of the executives in our group was just released from prison for firearms possession. Seems like he leaked one or two information about our group and we need to clean everything to normal. Some of my underlings have informed me that he might have bartered information with an opposite group to reserve him a place in case Awakusu Group ditched him."

"So you want me to wipe the traces of Awakusu Group and him squeaky clean?" Izaya cut Shiki off.

"It would be better if you feed false information to him. We need to get rid of the opposite group, anyway." Shiki replied, there was no tone of annoyance of being cutted off in his voice.

"I understand." Izaya nodded while smirking.

"Talking about traces... That debt collector, Heiwajima-san, how long are you going to keep him with you?"

"Do I have the responsiblity to answer that?" replied Izaya, keeping his face as carefree as possible.

"No. It's just that the talking about you and him finally reconciled has been spreading around a little too much lately. I don't think being too exposed is a wise choice for an information broker."

"That's none of your business," replied Izaya curtly. "Are you done yet?"

"I am. I need the information I need three days from now," Shiki ended the bitter conversation.

"Have a good day, Shiki-san," Izaya smirked again before going out of the car.

* * *

><p>As soon as the black car moved away, the raven quickly strutted straight to Shizuo who was walking briskly while drinking his milk from Kasuka.<p>

"Shiiizuuu-chan!" Izaya smiled widely while waving his hand, acting like anything but a grown man.

"Ugh. That flea again," Shizuo's nose wrinkled to something 'stinky' that he simply ignored, already used to smelling stinky aroma every time Izaya came close.

"'That flea again'? You live with me! What's wrong with seeing me so often?" Izaya rolled his eyes, finally catching up to Shizuo who stopped walking to wait for him.

"I hate you," said Shizuo. Despite his words, he was smiling so brightly to Izaya, to which the raven blushed involuntary.

"You look happy," Izaya hid his blush by looking away from Shizuo who was walking beside him. "Too happy."

"I just met Kasuka before you came," replied Shizuo, looking at the bottle of milk happily. "It's nice to see your sibling every once in a while."

"You said it like you've met him before. Well, technically yes, but you know what I mean."

"There is this thing called blood-connection, flea." Shizuo scoffed.

"Blood-connection. Right." Izaya rolled his eyes again.

They kept walking through the streets, until they saw a stray dog sitting on a trash can, looking for food. Izaya observed as Shizuo walked closer to the dog, once again trying to pry the blond's logic, though he knew that would be unnecessary since the blond has never been predictable.

Like this time, when Izaya has thought that the blond would be so caring to the dog, the blond, instead, tugged the dog's head with a straight face.

"What are you looking at, dog," said Shizuo. "I hope you'll catch some stuffs," the ex-bartender ended the brief meeting with the dog by patting the dog on the head.

"You're not going to feed the dog?" asked Izaya curiously.

"No. Life is hard, but everyone else has their own hardships, so you shouldn't whine about it," replied Shizuo. "I think if someone came to me and whined about how painful his life was, I would punch him so hard he would never thought about dying anymore."

Once again Izaya was totally taken aback by how unpredictable Shizuo was, he could feel shivers went down his spine.

"I thought you like living peacefully." Izaya narrowed his eyes and looked at the blond which already continued walking a few steps ahead of him.

"I do, but that doesn't mean you have to feed everyone and make them lazy. There are things in life that you need to experience. People who whine about their lives without even trying to make it better, and even blame others... I hate them," Shizuo said seriously.

Izaya swallowed a lump before pooling his courage to ask the blond, "People who lie and deceive others... Do you hate them too?"

Shizuo stopped walking, thinking about it for a moment. "There are nasty people, I wouldn't say I'm an angel as well, but... deceiving people... for fun...

"Like a flea... It will suck your blood and by the time you feel like fainting due to the lack of blood, it already jumped to suck another victim's blood without you realizing it...

"Like... a... flea..." Shizuo slowly turned his back and found Izaya standing there, his face as care-free as always, with that sinister smirk decorating his pale face.

Suddenly he could smell that the stink he always smelled every time Izaya was nearby, grew stronger.

"Hm? Does something come up inside your non-existent brain?" asked Izaya, despite cold sweat sliding down his temples.

Shizuo kept staring at Izaya in the deafening, long silence.

"...no." Shizuo narrowed his eyes and walked again, only to turned his back once again, grabbed Izaya's hand, and pulled the raven into a tight hug.

'_W—What?_' Izaya's eyes widened in surprise, and what made him more surprised was the fact that he could feel heat creeping in his cheeks.

"S—Shizu-chan?" The raven asked carefully, completely at loss.

"You're not... a bad person, right?" Shizuo asked. "You love me, there is no way you would deceive me, right?"

Izaya hold Shizuo's back, his heart thumping in fear. "...Why are you saying this to me?"

"It's just that... something inside me... keeps telling me that... this is all a lie..." Shizuo stroked Izaya's hair.

Izaya could feel he lost his heartbeat in a milisecond.

"But I don't want to believe it..." Shizuo released Izaya from the hug, staring at those quivering scarlet eyes. "Please, don't lie to me..."

Shizuo narrowed the gap between them by lowering his head, closing the distance between them by a kiss.

Izaya closed his eyes as he felt the soft lips of Shizuo touching his, and a wet tongue tugging at his lips, asking for entrance to which the raven willingly granted.

'_He is my enemy. I hate him._

'_I hate him._

'_Hate._

'_Hate._

'_Hate._

'_I hate him so much._

'_So why am I starting to wish... that this is reality?_

'_That all his affection to me... is anything... but a lie?_'

* * *

><p>Shizuo and Izaya ended up going home together, with Shizuo being stubborn of not holding off of Izaya's hand. While they were on the train too, Shizuo insisted on taking the raven's hand despite all the strange look people gave to them. Izaya on the other hand, was too busy struggling inwardly inside his mind. He finally faced that time when the brain and the heart told the opposites. It was all his plan to make Shizuo fell in love with him, and right now he seemed like he already has, but it was never passed his wildest imagination that he in turn, liked being loved by the blond.<p>

'_What's wrong with me?_' Izaya knotted his eyebrows. He looked up to Shizuo, watching as the blond drifted to sleep on the quite long trip from Ikebukuro to Shinjuku.

It was the time when Izaya realized...

...he truly has fallen for Shizuo.


	6. Izaya, Defeated

**: : SOME WEEKS LATER**

"Izaya, I'm going," Shizuo said in one fine morning after finishing a slice of cake and a glass of milk.

Izaya simply nodded, his eyes were still focused on the computer screen before him.

"You know, that's not very healthy, being in front of the computer all day," Shizuo scrunched his nose, feeling slightly annoyed for being ignored. He walked toward Izaya and stopped in front of the desk, glaring down to the information broker.

"I see there is some whip cream on your cheek," Izaya once again ignored the blond's remark, instead, changed the topic abruptly.

Shizuo chuckled while wiping his cheek and licked the remnant. "Damn flea," he walked to the back of the desk, turning the swivel chair to face him and stroked the black strands of hair of Izaya, burning the image of the slender raven's face which expressed a little bit of annoyance, and slight red hue on the cheeks, into his brain.

"I'm busy, Shizu-chan," Izaya tried to turn the swivel chair to face the computer again but the blond gripped on it tightly.

"You're gonna be late for work!" Izaya tried again. He got more flustered when he saw that the blond gave him a smile, that smile, the smile that was never been given to him when he still hated him, the smile that Izaya could only watch from a far during those days. But now, seeing that smile in such a close distance... the smile that was... directed to him... It made him uncomfortable. All his life he had never been so spoilt like this. His parents worked overseas, he deceived his younger sisters which in turn created a somewhat distorted relationship, he never had a real friend all his life. Even Shinra didn't really pay attention to him since all he cared about was Celty and Celty only.

Shizuo was the first one... to gave him such a loving, tender, and peaceful smile to him.

It made him even upset when the fact that Shizuo was losing his memories hit him hard.

Shizuo tickled Izaya's ear, making the lithe man slipped out a small laugh. "Shizu-chan!"

"You call me that sick nickname too many times," Shizuo grunted. "I have a name, and that is Shizuo Heiwajima!"

"Then what do you want me to call you, protozoan?"

"_Shizuo._"

"Shizuo." Izaya almost bit his tongue because he grew used to calling the blond 'Shizu-chan'. "Shizuo..." the raven repeated once more. It felt strange calling the blond with his real name. But somehow it made him... happy. He called Shizuo with girly name because he hated the blond for being too strong for him to stand equal, strength wise. And also adding the fact that the blond had never been so predictable, at times he even looked stupid because he dealt anything by instincts, which pretty much against Izaya's principal, who used reasoning to solve things.

By calling Shizuo with his real name, it felt like Izaya finally overcame those reasons, like finally accepting the blond as he was, as Shizuo Heiwajima.

'_Damn, brain, you think too much again,_' Izaya blushed once more. His cheeks grew even darker when the blond inched in, closing the distance with a soft kiss on the raven's nose, before lowering down his lips to reach the lips.

Shizuo hold Izaya's neck with his right hand while he slowly squatted in front of the raven. He smiled between the kiss when Izaya's breath got faster as they started to kiss open-mouthed, and the slender arms reached him, encircling his shoulders.

"What's my name again?" asked Shizuo hopefully after sucking on Izaya's tongue. He hasn't had enough of it.

"...Shizuo..." Izaya whispered, he shivered, still feeling a little awkward with calling the blond with his real name.

"Hm?" Shizuo asked for more while his right hand took a hold of Izaya's waist.

"...Shizuo..." Izaya answered again. "_Shizuo..._"

They broke the kiss. Both of them were panting, both of them were breathing the same hot air.

"Damn, now I don't feel like leaving you..." Shizuo smiled as he stroked the raven's now-wet bangs.

"...You should go. You'll make him wait." Izaya smiled back to Shizuo.

Shizuo exhaled deeply. He really didn't want to leave and spend more time with Izaya, but he has to go to work with Tom Tanaka. So he stood up and fixed his crumply clothes before looking down to Izaya which was still sitting there, watching him fixing his clothes.

"I'll be back soon," Shizuo grinned.

"Take care..., Shizuo..."

* * *

><p>Now that Shizuo has gone, Izaya finally took of his mask and back to his panicking self. His original plan was to use Shizuo as one of his pawn to mess around with Awakusu, but everything has gone totally the opposite. Now every possible outcome disadvantaged him: If Shizuo remained like this, sooner or later, eventually, the lie would be discovered, and the worse case was Shizuo leaving him, or even hating him even more for lying to him for months. If he told Shizuo that this was all a lie, Shizuo would hate him too.<p>

It has become extremely disadvantaging when... Izaya fell in love with the blond. Something so unimaginable. Of course falling in love with the man he hated the most has never been a part of his plan. It was like considering the creation of Greek gods to destroy the world: Impossible.

Izaya sighed.

"Hey, Namie-san," he called his secretary when the woman got inside the apartment. "What would you do when both choices make Seiji-kun hate you?"

"Here he goes again," Namie rolled her eyes. "That isn't a question."

"Guess I can't even ask your opinion, huh. That's so sad," Izaya shrugged dramatically. "Say, should I or shouldn't I tell Shizu-chan that I've been deceiving him for these past months?"

"Why should I care?" Namie walked upstairs and started filing up documents.

"I'll treat you seafood."

"Not interested."

"Raise."

"..." Namie contemplated for a while. "That doesn't make any difference, does it? I haven't seen you working on your so called 'ultimate plan to destroy Shizu-chan' even though it has been almost a year now anyway."

'_Of course I can't tell her that I, for God-knows __**WHY**__ AND __**HOW**__, has fallen in love with this stupid, unreasonable, and barbaric protozoan, can I?_' Izaya sighed once again. Back to square one, only he has to add some raise for Namie now.

'_Do I really have to stay like this forever?_

'_Lying to him?_'


	7. Shizuo and Izaya

"Hi, Celty." Shizuo waved his hand at the blackrider who was sitting on a bench, her light-absorbing suit looked as black as always under the sunset light.

[How was your work?] asked Celty while she stood up against Shizuo.

"First time—well, technically it wasn't my first time, but that's not the point—didn't go as I've expected. You know, I've thought people wouldn't be that stupid, but turned out they really are. Some people are just so annoying. They get on my nerves." Shizuo sighed.

[Some people really are annoying, ne.] Celty replied shortly. What made them so close to each other was that their opinions were alike. They have the same description of nice people and troublesome people. They shared the same interests: Living in a peaceful, serene place, and to talk only when needed.

Unlike some people who talked too much.

The image of a certain raven popped in Celty's head.

[By the way, how is it going with you and Izaya?]

Shizuo couldn't help but to blush when he remembered how hot the kiss he shared with him before he went to work.

"Nice."

[I'm relieved that you're okay.] Celty showed her PDA to the debt collector. [At first I was so worried that Izaya would do something nasty to you. But it seems you're as healthy as ever.]

Shizuo chuckled. "Actually…" he rubbed his nose sheepishly; he could feel his cheeks heating. "I sorta… fell in love with hi—"

Before Shizuo could even finish his sentence, black shadows were already scattering, as if in extreme shock, from inside Celty's helmet, and there was a sound of PDA falling down onto the concrete pedestrian. Shizuo looked to Celty, only to find his friend fidgeting here and there as if she just ate a bowl of wasabi.

"Oi, Celty." Shizuo called for Celty. "Celty! Snap out of it!"

Shizuo even had to shook Celty's body until the latter regained her consciousness.

"Geez, what's wrong with you? Don't you know it took me a lot to say that?" Shizuo grumbled while picking Celty's PDA, giving it to her.

[NOTHGIN IS WRNG WITHNME! ITS YOU!] Celty didn't even double-check her sentence, shoving the PDA right on Shizuo's face. Before Shizuo could even read the sentence properly, Celty pulled the PDA and typed some more.

[IT/S IZAYA! YOU HJATE HIM!]

"Look," Shizuo rubbed his temples. "It's all in the past, okay?"

Celty looked so flustered, but she finally typed something more readable for Shizuo.

[You have no idea what he has done to you? I didn't tell you about it at first because never in my wildest dream you would love him, but…

[He framed you several times, you've lost your jobs, and he lured many people to pick fights with you! There was nothing nice about him.]

"He doesn't look like a sincerely honest person, I know." Shizuo patted Celty's shoulder. "But… I'm not an angel, either. To have someone accepting me despite my powers…

"Someone that helps me… to become stronger. Strong enough, to control this monster within me." Shizuo smiled to Celty.

[But… if you want to love him, you should know… his bad side too, am I right? I don't want you to fall for him, but remain oblivious of the fact that you were enemies.] Celty showed her PDA, this time far more careful as she didn't want to hurt Shizuo's feeling. [I just don't want you to blindly love him.]

"You're a great, great person, Celty, do you know that?" Shizuo smiled widely.

"Someday when I regain my memories…" Shizuo mumbled to himself.

[I heard if you have contact with things that are involved in your past, it will trigger your forgotten memories. But… are you ready for this?]

Shizuo gulped. He was unsure of this. He was already so comfortable with what he has right now, a peaceful life, along with someone he loved, but Celty got the point: He didn't want to blindly love Izaya.

He didn't want to live in a lie, either.

What burdened him right now, those times when his mind told him to exact opposite of his heart regarding Izaya… He wanted to know the truth behind them all.

"Then, Celty… Help me regain my memories."

* * *

><p>Izaya perked up when he heard the sound of door opening. His heart started thumping when he found the handsome blond walking inside and smiled to him.<p>

"You're late," Izaya said, hiding his panicking self deep inside. Everything went more tangled after that kiss in the morning. He didn't know how to react to Shizuo: To act as cold as he ever was, or to act all nice and loving like a true lover.

And then Izaya realized that being loving to Shizuo was the mask he decided to wear from the first time he met Shizuo at the hospital some months ago.

But right now that he loved the ex-bartender, acting like he loved him suddenly became the most difficult thing to do. Because he _really_ loved him. He had never fallen in love with anybody else before, and despite knowing what humans should do to their lovers, he was completely clueless when the matters were about his own _true_ feelings.

"I met Celty after work." Shizuo said bluntly. "She helped me showing stuffs that might help me recover my memories."

Izaya's eyes widened in an instant. Then he regained his composure again and said, "Why would you want your memories back? What an idiot."

"...and I talked a lot with Celty today, and Tom-san too, and found some things about me." Shizuo ignored Izaya completely. He looked to those crimson orbs with his own hazels sharply.

"Tell me the truth, Izaya…

"We weren't lovers, right?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>: : EARLIER THAT DAY<strong>_

_"It's no news for everyone here that lived here long enough, that Izaya Orihara framed you for something you've never did." Tom Tanaka said briskly while he and Shizuo were on the way for dinner._

_"I guess..." Shizuo mumbled._

_"Hahaha. You don't believe me, do you?" Tom chuckled. It was only normal for this oblivious Shizuo to doubt everything he said, because it wasn't normal. Heck, his life was never normal._

_This 185 cm strongest man in Ikebukuro... with all his inhuman strength himself..._

_Wasn't normal._

_But Tom knew that deep inside all the monstrous, destructive, unwanted powers, lied the purest, peace-loving man who just wanted to protect everyone he loved._

_Tom smiled wryly to himself as he recollected how hard the life Shizuo has. How painful he should felt when he watched how useless his strength was despite how strong it was._

_"Ever wonder why your hair is blond?" Tom asked his junior. He wasn't expecting for an answer, though, as he added, "It was me who suggested that, so no one would never pick fights with you."_

_"You did?" Shizuo looked genuinely surprised._

_"It didn't last long, though. Because as soon as you entered senior high school, you met him and ever since were sworn enemies. I've lost count on how many times you were fighting, trying to kill each other. You hated him to death."_

_"Celty said the exact same thing too. Guess I have no choice but to accept the fact, huh." Shizuo barely smiled. "Then why did... he has to lie to me?"_

_Tom smiled sadly. He wanted to tell him that Izaya was Izaya, and being the manipulative person he has ever been, it took no brainer that he couldn't be doing what he did for charity._

_But such a thing; after all, should be left for Shizuo himself to find out._

_"Shizuo, this," Tom patted Shizuo's upper arm, feeling the toned and powerful muscles underneath the white shirt, "This," Tom pointed on Shizuo's forehead. "And... this..." Tom placed a palm to his own chest._

_"These are your true strength. Maybe you haven't heard this coming from me, but... you're the... you're the... strongest person I've ever met. I learn a lot from you._

_"You can go through this just fine. Trust your heart. Your instincts."_

* * *

><p>Izaya tensed for a split second before showing off a cold smirk. "Were we? Lying is one of my hobbies, unfortunately for you, I don't see myself changing it anytime soon, though."<p>

"Why did you lie to me?" Shizuo could feel anger bubbling inside.

"Because I hate you." Izaya replied, his voice squeaked involuntary, to which the raven blamed his thumping heart.

'_What a bad liar,_' the blond thought to himself. Strange, he just realized that the voice that kept telling him to stay away from the man before him has stopped appearing.

"I hate you so much, I want to break you from the inside, since I only could do so much on damaging your body." Izaya added some more.

'_This flea..._'

"You're going to hate me now? Seems like next time I really should land a meteor onto your house."

"Keep talking, you know you love me." Shizuo walked closer towards Izaya.

"Oh, rephrase. You fell for me... just _recently._" Shizuo whispered to the cornered flea, trapped between his strong arms and towering body.

'_Even when you're at your most vulnerable, I still couldn't beat you, huh? You're still as unpredictable as always._' Izaya still managed a composed smile despite cold sweat dripping down from his chin.

"What are going to do now? Kill me?"

"Nah. I love you too much to even think about it." Shizuo said bluntly, sending heat straight into Izaya's cheeks.

It was when Shizuo landed his lips on his own, Izaya gave up on putting on his masks. Those never worked, either.

Izaya moaned involuntary when Shizuo's slippery tongue slid on his teeth, as if asking for an entrance, to which the raven permittedly without a second thought.

"Shizuo..." Izaya whispered the blond's name. '_If, __**if**__ you eventually regained your memories, would you hate me again like you used to?_

'_Would you start trying to kill me again?_

'_Despise me so much you wish I have never existed?_

'_And stop loving me?_'

Those are the questions he wished he was brave enough to ask. This was the first time he ever loved someone. He still couldn't gather his courage to listen to Shizuo's rejection.

Izaya knew ever since his childhood that he was different. No one has truly accepted him for who he really was.

But here was Shizuo, his arms, around his body, hugging him tightly, as if not letting go.

"I want to do it with you..." Izaya said it like a wishful whisper.

"I'll just hurt you..." replied Shizuo, despite his body yearning for more.

"Heheh. Hurt me? As I got killed with all those vending machines hurling towards me." Izaya chuckled. "Let's be honest here. I'm rich, you're not. I'm a genius, you barely have a brain. And... I don't have the power to lift a truck, but you have it."

Shizuo knotted his eyebrows in confusion. Izaya's words were always so hard to understand. "...Okay?"

"Don't you get it, Shizu-chan? We complete each other." Izaya let out the smile that truly came from his heart.

"And you're back with that horrendous nickname."

"Alas, you can't change something that has lasted for more than 10 years, can you?"

Shizuo rolled his eyes. "Talking with you is like talking to a wall. Next thing I know we end up talking all night long over a coffee."

Then Shizuo carried Izaya without further ado, earning him a girlish yelp from the raven, and walked to their bedroom, while his lips continued on kissing Izaya.

* * *

><p>As soon as they arrived in the bedroom, Izaya was about to peel himself off of Shizuo but the blond kept holding him tightly, ravishing his mouth with deep, slobbery kisses like there was no tomorrow. It wasn't like Izaya didn't want his touches, though, so Izaya gave up giving it a second try.<p>

Shizuo landed Izaya softly on the bed, kissed him for some seconds, and finally broke the kiss as he stared at Izaya's face: Flushed and sweaty, with that expression, God, that expression. Shizuo wished he could just melt with him.

"Shizuo…" Izaya whispered breathlessly as he stroke the sweaty skin of Shizuo's cheek.

"You're so irressistible, you know that?" Shizuo leaned into the stroke, but his eyes kept watching Izaya's eyes, all hazy and dim, filled with lust and love.

Izaya pulled Shizuo into him and nipped at the blond's neck, licking on the surface before nibbling on it playfully. His hands were holding onto Shizuo's blond hair on the nape possessively.

"Never in million years I would've imagined doing this with you…" Izaya whispered while kissing Shizuo's jaw, tracing the sharp lines with his wet lips.

"You pretended to be my lover before, shouldn't you have anticipated this before?" Shizuo asked, his eyes closed, feeling good at the ticklish traces Izaya left all over his neck area.

"Mmm, I did," Izaya answered before pulling out and looked at Shizuo's content expression. "I thought I would be all seductive and lure you… But the thought of doing this…" Izaya bit his lips, he was embarassed and afraid to continue.

He continued anyway, as Shizuo's expectant and gentle expression soothed his worries. "Doing this with… love… It never crossed my mind…"

Shizuo kissed Izaya again. The raven's flustered face and his honest confession were enough for him to lose control. Without the second thought he dragged Izaya's shirt to reveal the raven's torso; something he had never seen before.

Despite having the urge to tell Izaya to eat more because he could clearly see his ribcage jutting out, he shrugged it anyway because somehow it looked sexy on him. Despite of that, he made a little note to himself to keep watch on Izaya's meals from now on.

He touched a nipple, to which the raven moaned involuntary, toes curling. Shizuo smiled smugly before kissing the other nipple, licking on it for a good measure, before nibbling on it like it was a sweet candy, while the other nipple kept being turned and twisted with his hand.

"_Aaahhh… Haaa!_ Shi—Shizuo…" Izaya couldn't hold back his moans, his hands scrapped all over the bedsheet, searching for something to hold on to. The silk sheets didn't give him the leverage good enough for him though, so he ended up holding Shizuo's head instead, fingers curling through the blond roots.

Shizuo's lips went down, tracing the flat stomach, and landed on the navel. He swirled his tongue deviously, drinking all the moans that escaped from the raven's sultry mouth.

Izaya closed his eyes as he felt Shizuo's lips touching the surface of his member. He breathed heavily as his throbbing cock was finally inside the blond's mouth, the heat creeped under his skin, as if it scattered all over his body through the bloodstream. He could feel Shizuo's raspy breaths along with the nips and licks of that sinful mouth, both climbing him onto the climax.

Izaya was about to come before he widened his eyes in surprise as he felt a digit went its way into his bottom.

"N—no!" Izaya whined in fear as the finger inside him wiggled deeper, trying to widened the muscles.

"Shi—Shizuo! Don't!" now Izaya's hands were on Shizuo's head, his fingers scrambled around the golden locks in panic.

It was when Shizuo looked upwards, his glare shot through Izaya's scarlet eyes, Izaya stopped squirming.

"I—I've never… done this… before…" Izaya whispered, half of embarassment and half of relief that the finger finally stopped moving.

Shizuo raised an eyebrow. He figured someone like Izaya would have done sex be it with a man or a woman before, since, well, it was Izaya he was dealing with.

"My mind has been too preoccupied with other things more interesting than sex. It's not like I had anyone worth enough to be my partner, so…" Izaya looked away.

Shizuo chuckled before kissing the pale skin of Izaya's temple. What made him happy was the fact he was actually the first one whom Izaya let to touch him.

"I know I might be too strong for you, but…" Shizuo whispered gently. "I want to feel you… Izaya…"

"Idiot."

"I know," Shizuo smiled. He started to put the second finger, this time while raining Izaya's lips and face with kisses to keep Izaya relaxed. He stopped immediately when he saw tears falling from the raven's dewy eyes, and continued gently when Izaya told him to continue. It was when the third finger could make its way inside Izaya, Shizuo thought the preparation should be enough.

Izaya swallowed a lump as he watched Shizuo's cock slowly dipping into him. He couldn't stop himself from gritting his teeth and curling his feet, as the pain was indeed, very painful. But he tried to bear the pain by squinting his eyes and focusing on Shizuo's tender kisses that apparently really made it less painful.

But it was still so painful.

"_Aaaah!_" Izaya screamed when Shizuo's cock has fully buried deep inside him.

His fingers trembled as he felt his bottom quivering in pain, alongside the arousing throbs of Shizuo's cock inside him.

"Shi—Shizuo…" Izaya called Shizuo's name. "It's okay… _Ngh…_ To move…"

Shizuo smiled as he kissed Izaya's lips, his hips slowly thrusting, his cock felt so good being in and out of Izaya's insides.

"Izaya…"

He thrusted harder as the pace built up. He could feel a little bit of pain as Izaya's nails scrapped around his broad back, but he held on as he understood that it must be far more painful for the petite Izaya to take his big cock inside him, not to mention his monstrous power.

When they felt their climax was near, Shizuo kissed Izaya's lips while working his hand on Izaya's cock, stroking it sloppily while keeping his pace thrusting into Izaya.

He couldn't take it anymore when Izaya's hot cavern throbbed and tightened, engulfing his cock like a glove.

It was then Shizuo jolted as he poured out his sperm inside Izaya, his mind blank and his mouth agape, calling Izaya's name loudly.


	8. Stay with Me

Shizuo woke up to an empty bed as his hand hazily felt the soft silk surface of the bed cover. He squinted his eyes as he looked outside the bedroom, to the balcony, where Izaya sat on one of the metal benches, his eyes focused on the cityscape below.

"…Izaya?" Shizuo called his lover with his raspy voice.

The raven tilted his head and looked at him, his eyes somewhat seemed so far away. Then again, most of the times Shizuo couldn't read what goes inside Izaya's mind. One time he was so clingy like a little child, the other time he would be as sly as a fox.

"Did I wake you up, Protozoan?" Izaya smirked as he stood up and walked toward Shizuo. He sat beside the blond, and his pale arm reached to him and stroke the golden locks. "It's already 1PM, might as well continue your evil slumber and wake up tomorrow, hm?"

"…Again with your wordplay," Shizuo grunted as he caught Izaya's hand and kissed the palm.

"I have a business to do later at night," Izaya continued, his scarlet eyes traced the sight of Shizuo licking his hand like a sweet lollipop.

"Aren't you always?"

Izaya just posed a thin smile before changing the topic. "I was talking with someone when you were asleep."

Shizuo stopped playing with Izaya's hand. There was something about the tone of Izaya's sentence that told him that the information broker was being serious.

"…They said they can retrieve your memories…" Izaya continued, his face was almost as flat as Kasuka's.

Just like that, a wide smile that almost reached his ears was drawn on Shizuo's face.

"Are you serious!" Shizuo sat up and jumped in happiness. "God, this is… this is awesome! Izaya, you really are amazing!"

Izaya watched with a smile on his face as Shizuo literally jumped around the room, his happiness was so hard to contain by himself. He let himself be hugged in a tight embrace as the ex-bartender pulled him with his strong arms.

"I can finally remember everything!" Shizuo giggled happily. "You know, I've always been wondering what did we do before I forgot everything. I mean, you're a sly liar and I can't believe everything you say, but I bet we had a good time during the old days, right!"

"Yeah, we fought a lot," Izaya nodded.

"I know, right? That kind of fight that couples do! Heheh!" Shizuo laughed so openly before he kissed Izaya's neck softly.

"…Shizuo, can you listen to me for a second?" Izaya stroked Shizuo's head one last time before pulling out of the blond's embrace.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, just…" Izaya looked down before reaching for his jeans' pocket and pulled out a key.

"What's that?" Shizuo asked, confused.

"I figure… you might want to start living in your old apartment after you regain your memories." Izaya answered while putting the key inside Shizuo's hand.

"W—" Shizuo grew flustered for a bit. "Why would I?"

Anger started bubbling up inside him as Izaya clearly ignored him, and walked away without saying a word.

"Hey, Izaya!" Shizuo pulled Izaya's arm harshly. "What makes you think I would leave you alone!"

"There are things that are better seen with your own eyes, Shizu-chan," Izaya looked into the blond's eyes. "You hated me."

'_That stupid nickname again!_' Shizuo gritted his teeth in anger. "I admit I felt anything but love to you on the day I woke up some months ago! I know that you might be lying to me at that time, because you stank so much it irritated me!

"But what we did last night, I did it to you because I love you!"

Izaya's eyes widened and Shizuo could see those eyes started reddening, and he knew Izaya was holding back his tears. But then again, Izaya was a man full of lies and in just a split second an smile was drawn on the raven's pale face.

"Say that again after you regained your memories and I'll think about it," Izaya said, ending the poignant conversation by tossing away Shizuo's hold of his arm and walked away.

"Izaya…" Shizuo bit his lips and pulled his hair in frustation. "Damn it!"

* * *

><p>Just like what Izaya said, the raven haven't come home even though the clock has shown that it was already dawn. Shizuo had waited for so long: He needed Izaya's presence with him. Why was he trying so hard to hold back? Why couldn't he be honest to him?<p>

"…Izaya… Please come home…" Shizuo walked around the empty studio for the hundredth time, all in vain. The information broker didn't come back. There wasn't a single knock at the door heard that night.

* * *

><p>It was the blinding sunlight that woke him up. Shizuo opened his eyes quickly, realizing that he ended up falling asleep on Izaya's desk. Shizuo sat up and the leather swivel chair he sat on squeaked pathetically.<p>

It was already past noon and Izaya wasn't there yet.

"That long-haired woman isn't coming today, either…" Shizuo mumbled to himself. He didn't like this. It was totally fine with him having Izaya bantering him with his wicked wordplay, or listening to that irritating voice calling him names he hated, or getting lectured about various things he knew wouldn't be useful for him now or ever.

In fact, he somehow enjoyed listening to the raven's chirping, even though it was as shrill as a duck and as annoying as a flea.

But it pained him… when everything went silence as this.

'_If things would turn out like this… Wouldn't it better… if I don't regain my memories at all?_' Shizuo tought to himself as he closed his eyes, and wait for Izaya for more.


	9. Izaya Making His Move

Shizuo felt a slight weight on his temple and groggily opened his eyes, and found his sight blocked by the face of someone he had waited for the last few nights.

"Hey, did you seriously wait for me like a good dog?" Izaya snickered as he covered Shizuo's shoulders with his fur-trimmed coat. The raven sat beside the table, his body looming over Shizuo who was sitting still on Izaya's beloved swivel chair.

"Izaya, I—" all the thoughts inside Shizuo's mind started to appear, errupting without a warning like a broken dam. 'Why should you have to leave me in such a complicated way?_ Don't you want to be with me? What's with those damp eyes you showed at that time?_

'_Don't you love me, too?_'

"I want to be with you—"

"You don't understand, Shizu… o," Izaya cut him off. "I've already arranged everything. We can start treating you as you see fit. The sooner the better." Izaya stroked Shizuo's golden locks.

Shizuo found all of Izaya's touches somewhat soothing, as if contradicting all the mean words that slipped off of the raven's lips. The blond closed his eyes and enjoyed the strokes on his head, like a puppy getting showered with love.

"...Do you really think… I might leave you once I regain my memories?" Shizuo said it almost above a whisper.

But Izaya didn't answer, instead he kept landing soft strokes all over Shizuo's head, and slowly inches toward the blond's neck.

"Did I hate you that much?" Shizuo finally hold tight Izaya's hand, instantly stopping the raven's movement.

"Yes," Izaya answered him. "You hated me much more than you can imagine.

"I thought I might find a good use of you without that stupid force called hatred toward me inside you, but…

"Well, I guess 'Shizuo Heiwajima' can never relent to my grasp, huh?" Izaya posed a thin smile. "It's very embarassing to say this, but everything was ruined when I started to care… a little bit too much… about you."

"Why didn't you just leave me as it is right now?"

"It's unfair that you love me without having to overcome our past." Izaya answered. "And it's particularly troublesome when your allies look at me with such faces when I've done nothing wrong. It's so annoying."

'_Done 'nothing wrong', he said,_' Shizuo hold the urge to roll his eyes.

"And I'd love it if you have a little bit of hatred toward me, you know? That one-celled brain of yours—oh, silly me. I forgot that you don't have a brain—is especially annoying when it's fueled with the urge to throw vending machines to me. Hahaha!" Izaya giggled, entertained by his own words.

"I can't quite catch it but I know it's insulting," Shizuo groaned.

"To put it simply, it's part of your charm: Your inhuman strength and fury. You're no fun when you're being so docile like this." Izaya finally stood up and stretched his arms.

"Care for a pudding, Shizu-chan?" Izaya chuckled as he walked to the kitchen.

* * *

><p><strong>: : ONE OF THE DAYS WHEN IZAYA LEFT<strong>

"Your presence here amuses me," a low voice was heard inside the empty living room. "Has Shinjuku become so boring that you have to personally come here, Izaya-kun? Then again, the air of Shinjuku is very bad for your health, so I can't really complain."

"Hahaha," Izaya let out a sarcastic laugh. "So mean of you, Shingen-san."

Izaya let himself sat on one of the sofas and crosses his legs. "I'm sorry I'm not some superhuman being coming to be dissected."

"Fret not, Izaya-kun," Shingen laughed. "It's fine with me talking to you every once in a while. Though should I say, this would be so boring and time-wasting."

Izaya smiled.

"By the way, I believe you've already heard about him losing his memories?"

"Sure am, but you snatched him first so I can't really say it's a pleasure to talk about it with you. Then again, you've always been a troublesome person so I'll let it pass." Shingen nodded to himself.

"I want you to return back his memories," Izaya said finally. "I don't care if he ends up trying to put himself in a killing race with me again."

"Returning back memories isn't a particularly difficult thing to do, hm," Shingen tapped his gloved finger on his temple. "But why would you? It would be more pleasant if you give him to me for some research, though."

"Don't you want to see more of his limits, Shingen-san?" Izaya's eyes twinkled. "It would be a shame if we refrain from watching how much more can that monster grow, am I right?"

Shingen looked as if he was weighing over it, and finally nodded. "We always look for a perfection, don't we?

"Very well, then, Izaya-kun," Shingen clapped his hands while Izaya sipped a cup of coffee.

"I like the way you think, Shingen-san." Izaya put back the cup onto the table and sighed. "If you don't mind, I'd like you to start as soon as possible."

"Hold your horses, Izaya-kun," Shingen waved his hand. "It's not only him that Nebula manages. It might take me some quite time to prepare for everything. That, and we might need to settle a condition to trigger back the memories."

"Condition…" Izaya echoed in a whisper.

"Yes. You think about it," Shingen nodded. "And I expect more routes as the present from you, Izaya-kun. Then we can peacefully shake hands."

Izaya smiled. He stood up and looked down to Shingen. "I do my business well, Shingen-san. As long as you do yours.

"I guess I'll take my leave. I expect hearing good news from you." Izaya walked away after waving his hand goodbye to the father of Shinra Kishitani.


	10. What Goes Inside His Mind

Izaya wrapped Shizuo in a blanket and cupped the blond's face, tracing lines on his sharp jaws with his long fingers. Then he let out a small chuckle as he wiped a trace of whipped cream on Shizuo's cheeks, and licked the remnants on his finger.

Izaya knew Shizuo must have been really tired after being forced to wait for him for days. The burden about the possibility of Izaya leaving him has gone out of the window as soon as the raven came back and Shizuo finally felt how tired he really was and suddenly fell into a deep slumber as soon as he got his share of a delicious piece of cake.

The information broker kept staring at Shizuo's face for some good seconds before finally stood up and peeled off his black shirt, showing a good portion of his slim figure and the pale, smooth surface of skin, with some areas marred with red marks left by none other than Shizuo Heiwajima.

He knew he has been repeating this debate inside his head since the first day he took in Shizuo to live under the same roof with him, but still, he couldn't believe himself. He was the most perfect man he could ever wish for. Why would he… be stupid enough to fall for someone, and for Shizuo Heiwajima, of all people?

Izaya laughed at himself. Afterall, he acknowledged himself for being a really skilled liar to the point that he couldn't fully trust himself. Maybe he was already in love with Shizuo from the beginning but he kept lying to himself. Or maybe what he really felt for Shizuo was pure hate. Who knows.

'_Life never ceases to surprise me, am I right?_' Izaya asked to himself as he opened his wardrobe and picked a dark grey pajamas made of silk.

'_Humans are predictable and interesting to watch. But Shizuo is a monster. He is, and always be, an exception._

'…_And I refuse to call myself human, either. There's no way I'm putting myself on the same level as them._

'_No, humans are interesting. I love them. But they're stupid. No, I'm not one of them._

'_We're both are no humans. We're both unpredictable. It's something I should've prepared._

'_It's…_

'_I…_

'…'

Izaya felt his fingers froze in place as once again, he has to admit that… Shizuo has finally win him over. Their dead match and chases have finally ended. This… was the end.

Izaya bit his lips. It was really humiliating that he has to kneel over a brainless protozoan, but it was the fact. Right now, how bitter it felt to him…

He couldn't live without Shizuo.

Izaya fisted his knuckles and looked at his own image inside the mirror in front of him.

'_That's an awfully pitiful face you make._'

He watched as his own face changed into an angry, and somewhat disgusted expression, and then he felt his fist hit the mirror hard.

Not strong enough to break the expensive, state-of-the-art mirror, though it caused a big red blister on his fist.

Izaya whipped his head to the back to see if the sound if him punching the mirror caused Shizuo to wake up, but it seemed like the blond was in a really peaceful dream.

The raven sighed to himself as he rubbed the fist that stang quite a bit. He climbed into the bed and laid beside Shizuo, looking into the dim-lit ceiling for a moment before turning his head to face Shizuo.

Izaya moved Shizuo's arm and tucked himself inside the blond's arm, putting his head under Shizuo's neck, and wrapped his arm on Shizuo's body.

It felt so comfortable… and warm… and like there were sparks inside him… when he was inside the blond's embrace like this.

Izaya finally grew tired of his own thoughts and finally succumbed to the weight of burden inside him, and closed his eyes to sleep.


	11. Tosca Green

No matter how much he mulled over it, he couldn't bring himself to decide between going for the treatment to regain his memories back or staying like this, living with the only memories he could remember.

Shizuo has lost count on how many times he asked Izaya for the raven's inputs, but Izaya's mouth kept tightly sealed. Izaya said something like he has nothing to do with Shizuo's choice of life, despite his status as the blond's lover. His actions annoyed Shizuo to no end, it was as if Izaya believed—more than he liked to admit—that he would surely leave him as soon as he got his memories back.

The flea was annoying as Hell and Shizuo admitted they had their ups and downs and had went through the bumpy roads, but in the end, he knew he loved Izaya. The Izaya he knew was a man full of stinky pride with his 'love' for humans and that he has some kind of self-absorbed personality. That, he could deal with, albeit only _barely_, but this flea right now was anything but confident: The blond often found Izaya staring with pressured expression at his computer screen, knotting his eyebrows and looked down to the cityscape while sitting on his swivel chair, or worse—yesterday he swore he saw Izaya sighed tiredly and stopped filing his nails halfway and ended up burying his head under his arms and fell asleep on the desk.

'_I thought I could just say yes for the treatment but seeing him as lively as a corpse kinda worries me…_' Shizuo said inwardly to himself as he peeled off his shoes and saw Izaya working as usual on his desk.

'_It's almost a week since Izaya mentioned about the treatment and now he acts as if nothing happened,_' the blond let himself in and walked briskly toward Izaya, and stopped in front of the desk and glared at the information broker under him.

"What goes inside your fishy brain, I don't get it," Shizuo said finally. '_Guess I can never truly understand you, huh…_'

"Nothing in particular is going inside my brain, _Shizu-chan_," Izaya replied without even glancing at the debt collector. "By the way, Shizu-chan. Are you going for the treatment any time soon?"

"T—that's—"

"Don't waste my time. I don't like being left hanging like this." Izaya finally looked up to Shizuo and the blond could see those scarlet orbs gleaming. Gleaming in what? What do those eyes mean? Fear? Sadness? Or maybe Izaya didn't feel anything at all. Ones couldn't be too careful with this man.

Shizuo watched as those eyes squinted, and the next words Izaya said almost threw his organs out of his body.

"…Don't… toss my heart around anymore than this."

Those were, once again, a pair of damp, reddened eyes that decorated the information broker's face Shizuo saw. But just like last time, there was no single tear dropping from his eyes.

'_Just how much… do you love me?_'

"I… I'll take the treatment…" Shizuo lowered his head.

"…

"That's good. I'll let Shingen-san knows," Izaya answered, his voice has stopped trembling.

* * *

><p><strong>: : TWO DAYS LATER<strong>

"It's truly fascinating to see you sitting so serenely like this on our precious sofa that came straight from Belgium. I hope we'll have a good time." Shingen cleared his throat and clapped his hands, along with his wife, Emilia.

Shizuo finally decided to go for the treatment to regain his memories back. They just arrived at Shingen's place and now they were sitting in his living room, with Izaya right beside him, his face as cheerful as ever.

"What I know is that memory loss can't be treated unless it is caused by a reversible condition, Shingen-san, in case you're asking for my opinion," Izaya smiled brightly. "But then again, right under my nose lives a headless Dullahan so impossibility is no longer a problem to me."

"As cynical as ever, aren't you, Izaya-kun," Shingen nodded. "Well, I can't really say this is 100% guaranteed to succeed, but worse comes to worst, you wouldn't lose a tiny weeny bit of your current memories, so rest assured!"

"Well, shall we begin, with respect!? I'm so honored to treat you and your marvelous, incredible power, with respect!" Emilia giggled and kept fidgetting in spirit.

Shizuo grunted. Izaya sure has some acquaintances.

"This is a newly-found liquid that might change your life," Shingen said. Shizuo swore he could see the face behind the mask grinning devilishly. He suddenly felt like a guinea pig.

"Well, I've tried this kind of medication with several people and they sure did regain their memories." Shingen nodded, as if being proud of himself. He then proceeded on opening a big metal case and it let out a cold mist. This felt like some sci-fi movie and the fact that Shingen was wearing that stupid mask and his wife with her eerie grin didn't help a bit.

"How did you find people with memory loss?" Shizuo couldn't help but ask.

"We didn't." Shingen answered while picking a tube and shook it gently. "Ever heard of brainwash?

"Izaya-kun is kind enough to help me with scouting the guys to help our study," Shingen continued. "Illegal immigrants, people without identity… They are so useless living on their own, so I'm helping them to be some help to the science world! Aren't I generous?" Shingen laughed happily.

"Figures," Shizuo sighed while peeking to see how Izaya reacted. His eyes were caught by Izaya's sharp ones and Shizuo sheepishly looked away.

Shizuo continued to watch Shingen playing around with his stuffs, mixing the liquid on this tube with that tube and shook it well and mixing with another tube, until finally he took a syringe and sucked some of the liquid into the syringe.

"A nice tosca green, isn't it?" Shingen looked at his own handwork in amazement. "Science is so lovely."

Before Shizuo could ask why the color of the medicine was that venom-like green, he felt a cold swipe on his arm and found out that Emilia has already disinfecting his arm with alcohol.

"Please stay calm, with respect!" Emilia smiled widely.

Shingen walked pass the coffee table and squatted beside Shizuo, before taking his arm and stabbed the needle into his veins.

"I feel… sleepy," Shizuo said after all the liquid inside the syringe has gone inside him.

"You don't expect to regain it right this moment, do you?" Shizuo could hear Shingen voice sounding further and further away.

"Izaya…?"

"…Shizu-chan.

"…Sleep…

"…You'll… Awake…

"…o.

"_…Shizuo._"


	12. Broken Bond

_**Author's Note –** First of all I'm going to apologize for the mistake I made on Chapter 11. Yes, Shizuo isn't supposed to remember anything, including his childhood. That was careless of me. I'm sorry._

* * *

><p>Slowly but sure the indistinctive voices around him were getting louder and clearer. Before too long, when he felt like he finally regained full control of his body, Shizuo opened his eyelids, and found a white rectangle lamp sticking on a white ceiling.<p>

He grunted as he sat up groggily. His body felt so heavy. He felt very unwell and it was starting to get annoying. Why was it so dizzy? When was the last time he felt this dizzy? His head felt like bursting and Shizuo tried his best not to vomit.

"Ah, you woke up," a chirpy sound of a man was heard from across the room. "Feeling good?"

Shizuo grunted once more and swallowed a lump. "You're…"

"Shinra's ever so lovely father!" Shingen applauded himself.

"Shinra?" Shizuo narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Nu'uh. It's not 'what are you doing here', but 'what are _you_ doing here'." Shingen moved his index finger while clucking his tongue. "Izaya has left! He went near Sunshine 60 just a few minutes ago."

"…Izaya?" Shizuo echoed. He then lowered his head wistfully. "So in the end… it didn't work, huh?" he let out a bitter smile.

Without further ado he got off of the bed and flexed his body. He felt like he has been sleeping for years. "I'm going to see him. It's near Sunshine 60, you said?"

Shingen nodded. "Are you okay going by yourself?"

"Nah, I'm fine. I'm going." Shizuo finally said before opening the door of the room and left Shingen alone by himself.

"Poor, poor Izaya-kun." Shingen smirked to himself.

* * *

><p>When he finally reached the bustling area of Ikebukuro, he fingered his chest, trying to reach for his eyeglasses, but it was then he realized that he was only wearing a simple white long-sleeved shirt and a long black trousers. He groaned angrily.<p>

'_Not only do I feel like shit today, everything seems like against me right now…_' Shizuo snorted to himself. He gave up on getting angry over nothing and continued on walking toward Sunshine 60. Somehow he was afraid of seeing Izaya only to tell the raven that the experiment failed. But a little bit of him was grateful because that meant he could keep staying with Izaya.

He stopped near a stop signal, mingling with everybody else. He didn't know why, but he was starting to think that maybe this was for the best. Maybe he wasn't fit in with the old memories. Maybe this was a sign to start a new life. A new, peaceful life, with Izaya.

Just when he was about to cross the intersection, a low, whisper-like voice was heard. The voice which called his name.

'_Shizuo…_'

Shizuo looked up, and the brightest and widest smile decorated his face. It was Izaya. He was there, on the rooftop of a building. The raven was wearing the hood of his coat, but Shizuo knew for sure it was Izaya. It smelled Izaya.

Shizuo waved his hand happily, to which Izaya took it by surprise, judging from how his shoulders tensed. Shizuo kept waving his hand until Izaya waved his hand as well.

However, that wasn't the face Shizuo had hoped to see of Izaya. That face was full of sorrow, and he could clearly see Izaya was biting his lips as if holding himself from crying. What made Izaya so sad? Was he feeling dejected because he somehow knew the experiment didn't go well?

Shizuo pulled his hands onto his face and put his index fingers on the corners of his lips and smiled widely, as if telling Izaya to smile.

'_Don't be sad, Izaya. I'm here. I love you._'

Shizuo kept smiling even though he could see a drop of tears fell and rolled down Izaya's cheek. Despite crying, Izaya started to smile.

"THIEF!" a really loud and sudden scream was heard from the other side of the road, coming from a girl that was pointing at a man who was running away from her.

"Ah?" Shizuo stared at the scene, registering whatever was happening into his brain.

'_Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. This feels familiar. This—_' before Shizuo could even finish, everything turned black to him as a truck hit his body hard. The ex-bartender literally flied to sky for a brief moment before falling onto the concrete floor with a loud thud.

* * *

><p>Everyone around there gathered to witness the accident, except Izaya. The information broker knew full well that a truck would come and hit Shizuo. It was part of his plan. A plan to regain Shizuo's memories.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Hold your horses, Izaya-kun," Shingen waved his hand. "It's not only him that Nebula manages. It might take me some quite time to prepare for everything. That, and we might need to settle a condition to trigger back the memories."<em>

_"Condition…" Izaya echoed in a whisper._

_"Yes. You think about it," Shingen nodded._

* * *

><p>'<em>This was how he lost his memories… If this doesn't work, then I…'<em> Izaya mumbled to himself. '_I'll have Shizuo just the way he is right now… I'll stop lying to him. I'll stop bringing the past. It'll be just the two of us… living a new life._'

He knew it was cruel of him.

That he was hoping that this method would fail as well.

That Shizuo would never regain his memories.

That Shizuo would always belong to him…

'_Please don't forget about us…_' Izaya begged. '_Please stay with me…_'

Despite how hurt it was to him, he forced himself to keep watching as Shizuo's body moved from afar. He needed to see the outcome. He knew the back of his mind was dreaming that he could run happily toward Shizuo and hug the blond, and say, "You're back!"

'_Please love me._'

* * *

><p>Shizuo forced himself to get up and groaned in pain. That kind of hurt. Damn truck.<p>

His mind was in daze before his nostrils sensed a smell. A smell he knew too well. Was it Izaya? It _was _Izaya, he was sure of it.

"…zaya." Shizuo's baritone voice was barely above a whisper.

"**IIIIIZAAAAAYAAAAA! GET OUT, YOU DAMN SICK FLEA! I KNOW YOU'RE BEHIND THIS!**" Shizuo roared out loud. He looked furiously around him; he rolled his hazel eyes, scanning everything as far as he could.

"Ahahaha! Shizu-chan, you don't need to be so loud," a chirpy voice was heard from across the street. "It annoys me to see you're still alive."

Shizuo twitched in anger. "Get that stupid smirk away off of your face, you maniac bastard! How many times do I have to prove that trucks won't kill me!? These won't kill me but it's still painful, just so you know. It's painful so it pisses me off! So burn this right into your fucking brain and don't mess with me anymore!"

Izaya rolled his eyes coolly. "Do you really think I would listen to a protozoan?"

"**YOU FUCKING FLEA!**" Shizuo snapped. He grabbed the now-abandoned truck's door and threw it right toward Izaya, to which the flea agilely evaded by jumping onto the door and used it as a leverage to jump onto a crossing bridge.

"**DON'T RUN AWAY, YOU BASTARD!**" Shizuo chased him but Izaya has already gone.

* * *

><p>Izaya kept running and running away from Shizuo until he couldn't hear the wrath of the strongest man in Ikebukuro who was yelling his name loudly like he was when they were still enemies.<p>

It was when he finally reached the end of a dark, deserted alley, he let himself slumped onto the brick wall. He rested his body on the cold wall, letting himself absorbed in the deafening silence.

It was the sound he made that broke the silence.

The sound of him crying.


	13. The Final Say

**:: A WEEK LATER**

"CHEERS!"

Everyone started drinking their drinks together happily. They were at Shinra's apartment, to celebrate Shizuo who finally has regained his memories. Nearly everyone was there, except—notably—Izaya.

"Do you remember me!?" Shinra pointed at himself happily.

"Aaah, Shinra." Shizuo smiled widely. He drank his banana milk happily. He has never been this fulfilled. Everyone was practically congratulating him, and asking the same questions: Do you remember me?

Sometimes Shizuo joked and replied, "Who are you again?" but most of the times he nodded while smiling widely. Except for the girl with a bob cut who wore glasses, Shizuo had to honestly ask who she was because he could never remember her name.

"It's been a long time since we gathered together like this, ne!" Erika Karisawa, a female otaku, started the conversation. "I remember the last time we did this we threw on a hotpot party! It was delicious."

"Yeah, yeah! I know, right!" Walker piped in. "We were talking about what kind of new sensations and new fetishes that might open in front of Mikappu!"

"Oooh! That one!" Erika nodded vigorously.

The two of them continued gossiping together and everyone else decided to leave them alone. Because this was Shizuo's party (though was held by Shinra), the foods that were prepared were sweets, such as Cakes, puddings, biscuits, and caramel popcorns.

As expected, it was like a Living Heaven to Shizuo.

"That being said, the people who are invited are the same as the last hotpot, ne!" Masaomi chirped happily while stuffing his mouth with an almond muffin. "As usual Izaya-san isn't here!"

Suddenly the mood tensed. Even Erika and Walker who were busy gossiping by themselves got silent.

"A—ah," Masaomi laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, I—I didn't know bringing him up would ruin the mood…" he was initially about to make fun of Izaya while the raven wasn't here, and was expecting everyone else to catch the ball, but it turned pretty sour.

"Hahahahaha!" Shinra laughed to break the ice. "As always Izaya is one pitiful guy."

Shizuo let out a thin smile. He didn't want to remember it but he did. It seemed too eerie to be a reality: The times when he held Izaya with love. When he first encountered the Flea after he regained his memories, all the hatred just flowed to the brim and blinded his eyes, but when he finally returned home and cleared his mind, the memories he created during the few months back started to appear.

'_What was he thinking?_' Shizuo started to think. '_Surely he wasn't going to love me…_

'_Did he say that we were lovers? Yes, yes, he did. But why? He isn't the type to turn jelly over someone. Even that day, he even… cried._' Shizuo knotted his eyebrows in confusion. Everything was a mess.

If he didn't remember the days he lived with Izaya, surely the idea of Izaya crying would make him laugh until he didn't know how to breathe, but the times when he touched the raven's skin, when their lips were sealed into loving kisses… Those times felt so real, those couldn't be a dream.

* * *

><p><em>"It's very embarassing to say this, but everything was ruined when I started to care… a little bit too much… about you."<em>

* * *

><p>'<em>What the fuck is wrong with your brain, Flea? Care about me? Is that even possible for you to care about me?<em>' Shizuo scratched his head. He absent-mindedly took the cupcake given by Celty and ate it as if he was in auto-pilot mode.

* * *

><p><em>"But what we did last night, I did it to you because I love you!"<em>

_"Say that again after you regained your memories and I'll think about it."_

* * *

><p>Shizuo smiled grimly to himself.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Get that stupid smirk away off of your face, you maniac bastard! How many times do I have to prove that trucks won't kill me!? These won't kill me but it's still painful, just so you know. It's painful so it pisses me off! So burn this right into your fucking brain and don't mess with me anymore!"<em>

* * *

><p>'<em>In the end, I… didn't even once…<em>' Shizuo couldn't even bring himself to continue his chains of mind. When he remembered how loving they were to each other, he felt like going to Izaya's apartment and put an end to this tug of war already, but…

'_Izaya has committed sins that can't be forgiven. He's __**that **__Flea that always ruins my life. He takes an enjoyment from making me suffer. He framed me many times, sent me behind the bars… What good would it bring to associate myself with him?_'

Shizuo stayed silent for a while, until the bitter taste of paper put him back to reality. The cupcake was already nowhere to be found, and apparently he was eating the wrapping paper. "This is not good.

"Shinra, I'm going to Izaya's." Shizuo said while standing up and fixed his shirt.

"E—eh? This late?" Shinra looked up in surprise.

"Nah. He sleeps in the morning, anyway." Shizuo waved his hand. "Guys, thanks for coming. Sorry, but gotta go now. See you," Shizuo put a gratuitous smile for a brief second before turning his way to leave.

* * *

><p>It was the sound of door breaking that made Izaya twitched and glared at his entrance door, waiting for the only man he knew would do such a thing. He felt his heartbeat fastened as the tall figure of Shizuo Heiwajima, the man he involuntary fell in love with, appeared before the falling door.<p>

Izaya swallowed a lump, fixing his crooked way of sitting on his one and only swivel chair as Shizuo walked wordlessly toward him.

"What is it that you want?" Izaya inquired, his fingers trembling beneath the desk.

"I want to pick up my stuffs. What else do you think I'm coming here for, bastard?" Shizuo answered menacingly. He made his way into Izaya's bedroom, ignoring the raven as he walked across the big, cold room of the living room and stepped onto the stairs.

"I thought I've sent everything back to your apartment, you protozoan," Izaya replied, putting his wrenching heart aside, as he followed Shizu-chan who has already roaming around freely without permission.

Izaya stayed still before the doorway when his eyes caught the sight of Shizuo already sitting on his bed, his long fingers feeling the silk surface of the bed-sheet.

"How many times have I embraced you?" Shizuo asked; his eyes closed. "What was your plan behind all this? Did you want to send me into jail? Did you want to ruin my life even further?"

Izaya bit his lips. He curled his hands into fists as he said, "I wanted to crush you… I've quite given up on crushing you from the outside, so might as well try from the inside."

"I see. That worked quite well, congratulations." Shizuo laughed grimly. "I did fell for you. Too bad your timing wasn't quite right."

Although Shizuo knew that it wasn't about the timing, since Izaya was in fact, the one who suggested him to undergo the treatment with Shingen and the one behind the accident that triggered back his memories. He knew all of that, but he still couldn't bring himself over the idea that Izaya truly loved him.

"Are you mocking me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya smiled thinly. "Now that you know my weaknesses and what I'm vulnerable to, are you going to step on my pride like you've always wanted?"

"I would if I could," Shizuo exhaled.

"Why don't you just kill me now?" Izaya raised his hands in the air. "This might sound like an awful joke to you, but you hating me…

"It hurts me more than anything right now," Izaya continued. He shut his eyes tight, as he knew tears could slip from beneath his eyes any time soon.

"You bastard…" Shizuo growled. He walked briskly toward Izaya and took him by his neck, strangling the raven as he pinned him on the wall. "Don't act as if you're the only one in despair! Why are you making everything more complicated!?"

"If you have nothing to do here anymore, leave," that was the only reply that Izaya said. He glared straightly at Shizuo, his eyes were fiery. Shizuo was taken aback by how Izaya was reacting to him. He was so passive, there was no single sly remark coming from the raven.

Of all things in the world, this was the most he would hate to say, but he said it nevertheless.

"…Do you really… love me?"

Shizuo watched intently, his eyebrows furrowed, as Izaya was seen swallowing his own spit and looked away. Deep down Shizuo knew what Izaya would say. If Izaya ended up answering otherwise, then 100% of bad things happening to him really were Izaya's schemes.

His heart slumped when Izaya nodded weakly.

Shizuo's grip on Izaya's neck weakened, his body trembled.

"If that's your answer, then… let's end this."

Izaya looked up. He couldn't decipher the meaning of Shizuo's words.

"I don't want to be associated with you anymore, ever." Shizuo sighed. "I knew it. I'd hate to admit it, but somehow I know that everything that happened during those months is real.

"Sorry for breaking it down for you, but… I can't… fulfill my promise to love you back. My hatred is way too deep to be erased easily in mere months. I still hate you that I want to kill you. I want to crush you into pieces right now, but beating someone who's vulnerable isn't my principle.

"I thought it would be impossible for me to feel this, but… I feel some sorts of sympathy towards you. I don't want to spit any more curses to you. I don't want to hurt you anymore, that's why…"

Shizuo waited if Izaya would leave a reply, but the raven stayed silent, his face was looking away so Shizuo couldn't see what kind of face he was making right now.

"And that when I said I needed to pick something up. That was because the idea of me wanting to see you for other purposes except killing you disgusts me. In the end, I can never be your ally." Shizuo continued. Without adding any more, he walked past Izaya, leaving the raven inside the empty, cold room.

* * *

><p>'<em>Is it over?<em>' Izaya slumped onto the floor when Shizuo's footsteps' sound has disappeared. '_Is it finally over?_'

* * *

><p><em>"Shizu-chan..." Izaya kissed the blond on the forehead and dragged his lips down to the blond's nose.<em>

_"Let's live together again... in our home," Izaya kissed Shizuo on the lips. "Okay?"_

* * *

><p><em>"Have you finished the cake? Do you want mine, Shizu-chan? I don't have the hots for sweet cakes, besides they say eating too much glucose will make you stupider, which won't affect you since you have no brain at all, and—"<em>

_Izaya couldn't continue his rambles anymore because the blond's lips already landed onto his, sealing them into a kiss._

_"You talk too damn much," Shizuo whispered, licking the bits of cake from the rim of Izaya's lips._

* * *

><p>Izaya gritted his teeth as tears started to roll down his cheeks. He covered his face with his two hands, closed his eyes tightly to stop the tears, but he knew he couldn't bear it anymore when he started to hear himself hiccupping.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"You call me that sick nickname too many times," Shizuo grunted. "I have a name, and that is Shizuo Heiwajima!"<em>

_"Then what do you want me to call you, protozoan?"_

_"Shizuo."_

_"Shizuo." Izaya almost bit his tongue because he grew used to calling the blond 'Shizu-chan'. "Shizuo..."_

* * *

><p><em>"I admit I felt anything but love to you on the day I woke up some months ago! I know that you might be lying to me at that time, because you stank so much it irritated me!<em>

_"But what we did last night, I did it to you because I love you!"_

* * *

><p>"Shizuo… Shizuo…" Izaya cried louder. "Ugh… Aaah…" Izaya had to breathe with his mouth as his nose was clogged; his eyes were fully wet with tears. He never felt this broken.<p>

'_Why is it when I finally removed the wall between us, you got away?_

'_Why can't I be with you?_

'_Why can't you love me?_'

Those were all the questions he knew wouldn't be granted. At the back of his mind, he knew that this was what he deserved for ruining the blond's life for years. But he still couldn't get over his cravings of Shizuo's smiles, his touches, his sweet nothings…

'_But it's over now…_

'_Even if you desert me, this love will last forever, Shizuo…_

'_Goodbye._'

**~ THE END ~**


	14. Alternate Ending

_**Author's Note –**__ I'd love it if you don't read this extra chapter; since to be honest, I prefer how I ended Lie to Me on Chapter 13. But since a lot of you want a happier ending, I made this alternate ending about what happens after a few years have passed since the end of Chapter 13. Again, with all due respect, I suggest you to stop reading._

* * *

><p><strong>:: A FEW YEARS LATER<strong>

"Is here okay?" the raspy voice of Shiki, one of the prominent members of Tokyo's underground broke the silence. The slender man looked outside of the tinted window, looking at how flakes of snow fell gracefully onto the land that has already covered in pure white color.

"It's fine," Izaya nodded. The adult man smiled thinly to himself. He put a small package covered in brown envelope inside his jacket and opened the door, sending his regards to Shiki before getting out of the black sedan.

Izaya closed the door and breathed the winter air of Ikebukuro. It has been so long since the last time he stepped on the grounds he used to step on so often years ago. The now more matured information broker sighed heavily as he scanned his eyes on his surroundings.

"Nothing has really changed, huh." Izaya smirked to himself. He started walking, reminiscing the scenery he has missed for so long.

For the whole years he avoided doing anything that has to do with Ikebukuro, more over the certain blond named Shizuo Heiwajima. He buried the bittersweet memories he had with Shizuo deep beneath the abyss of his mind. He swore to himself not to let himself slip and fall pathetically like he did under Shizuo's feet.

Despite vowing to himself, he kept finding himself setting hidden cameras to keep track on what was happening with the blond and everything around him. It was very disgraceful of him to do that but he couldn't help it. The feelings he has for the blond was like a persistent stain on a piece of white cloth that wouldn't disappear no matter how hard he scraped it.

He stopped walking when he saw a vending machine flying across the sky.

He felt his heartbeat loudened. Beneath the pockets of his jacket, he could feel his hands curled into fists, so hard that the nails dug into his skin.

Should I run? Should I leave?

Those are the questions he kept repeating inside his mind, but his body said otherwise. Instead of walking away, he walked further forward. Despite his vows, he dragged his feet closer to what might turn to be another living Hell to him. Despite how hurt his heart was, he couldn't lie to himself.

He knew what he was doing now might turn the years of forgetting the blond into vain. It would end up as nothing.

But he kept walking, walking, walking. His pupils widened when the figure he longed for the longest time was seen meters away from him.

He let himself be satisfied with only pictures of Shizuo. As long as he knew what the blond was doing, he was happy.

* * *

><p><em>How is Shizuo doing? Ah, I see he's fine and having fun with others.<em>

_His face is as adorable when he eats ice cream._

_He was shot in the stomach in the alleys? Is he okay? Will he be alright? Don't worry, I've sent someone to save him._

_He's finally discharged? That's a relief._

* * *

><p>Without his consent, tears started falling again.<p>

'_That's disgusting. Why crying again? Now of all times?_' Izaya wiped his tears away. He kept staying behind the shadows, didn't want the blond to notice his whereabouts. '_I've never knew seeing him in the flesh would break my resolve this easily. That's so pitiful._'

* * *

><p>Shizuo panted heavily as he walked closer to the already unconscious man in front of him. He grabbed the collar of the man's shirt in anger, before inhaling deeply to yell, "You're saying you needed the money to date that girl!? And now when I asked who the girl is, you don't even know her name!? YOU SAID YOU TWO LOVE EACH OTHER!? ARE YOU FUCKING PLAYING AROUND WITH ME!? HUUUH!?"<p>

"Shizuo, that's enough. He's fainted already," Tom Tanaka, Shizuo's boss, finally grabbed the tall man on the shoulders. "Haaah, now that he's fainted, we can't even find out where he hides all the money."

"Ugh." Shizuo let go of the man's collar and fixed his glasses. "Sorry."

"That's fine." Tom sighed. "Shall we call it a day, then?"

"Ah," Shizuo nodded. He stood up and reached for his lips, only to find out that the cigarette he was having was already lying flat on the ground. "Che," he scoffed, irritated.

He was about to turn around and follow Tom when his nose found a smell. The smell he hasn't smelled for years. His eyes widened when the smell got stronger. He was near. He was coming near.

Shizuo looked around, his eyes searching intently, but he couldn't find the only one who has such a strong smell. The only one who could flip his life upside down. The only one he could hate and love the most.

'_Izaya._' Shizuo's eyes twitched. He turned to face Tom who was already staring at him suspiciously.

"Sorry, Tom-san. I've something to do…" Shizuo scratched his head.

"I know," Tom smiled knowingly. He knew the only who could make Shizuo make such a vibrant expression. "Well then, I'll be just hanging around the usual place."

"Sorry," Shizuo nodded gratefully. He walked away and let his instincts lead the way.

* * *

><p>Izaya was already sitting on one of the benches on a park near Sunshine 60. He let himself absorbed in his thoughts, regardless of drops and drops of snow falling on his head. He stroke his hands together to make himself feel warmer.<p>

'_What am I doing here, really…_' Izaya asked himself. It was one day in February, where illumination lights were already turned on to lighten up the gloomy sky of Tokyo's Winter. Izaya stayed despite the snow, his eyes looked longingly at couples that walked past him, hands holding tightly to each other.

'_It was around winter, too… When Shizuo finally regained his memories…_' Izaya thought unconsciously. When he realized he was, once again, thinking about the blond, he sighed in pity to himself.

"Izaya?"

Izaya widened his eyes upon hearing his name called, called with that baritone voice he knew too well. Slowly he turned his head, and it wasn't just a dream: The blond named Shizuo Heiwajima was really standing across him.

It was so long since the last time he saw him with his own eyes. Shizuo sure grew taller. His arms were more toned now. The golden strands of hair were now a bit longer than he used to see.

"…Shizuo?" Izaya whispered, making sure that it was really Shizuo he was talking to, afraid that this was just his imagination.

"What are you doing here?" Shizuo walked closer to him, his expression tepid.

Izaya grabbed his knees tightly. "I have work that needs to be done around here." His heart throbbed despite himself. It wasn't easy to stop loving someone that you already showed your true self completely, after all.

"Is that so? Don't get too caught up in work," Shizuo chuckled. It has been a long time since he could speak normally with the Flea he used to hate so vigorously before. After years of not seeing him, Shizuo could feel that the hatred he had was slowly dissipated. That, and he didn't sense any maliciousness within Izaya like he used to when they first met during their high school days.

Izaya simply nodded. He kept his tough face on display, afraid that Shizuo might see that beneath his masks he was trembling so heavily, his heart thumped so hard it could explode any time.

"Hahaha, I knew it, this might turn very awkward," Shizuo laughed sheepishly. He looked down to Izaya who was still sitting in front of him, before reaching his arm toward the raven.

Izaya stared at the blond's hand for some good seconds before looking up questionably. "What's this?"

"I'm Shizuo Heiwajima. Nice to meet you," Shizuo smiled cheerfully. "It's always you who initiated the introductions, so for a change, I thought I should do this, too."

* * *

><p><em>"I don't like you." Shizuo grunted. The sight of that sly raven smirking around annoyed him.<em>

_"Oh, yeah?" Izaya scoffed, not getting scared one bit. "Too bad. I thought we could have fun together," he sounded like he was belittling Shizuo._

_"Noisy," Shizuo looked away._

_"Don't say such a thing, Shizuo-kun."_

* * *

><p><em>"So let me introduce myself again, Shizu-chan." Izaya who never left his smirk, snatched a flick blade from his pocket and slashed Shizuo's chest, leaving a thin red line on the pale blue fabric.<em>

_"I'm Orihara Izaya. We'll have lots of fun."_

* * *

><p>"—But…" Izaya hesitated.<p>

"C'mon! I've been wanting to do something cool! Heh!" Shizuo wiped his nose, feeling like his pride has boosted.

Still lingered in hesitation and fear, Izaya slowly reached out his arm and touched Shizuo's hand. He couldn't help that his cheeks reddened when their skin touched.

When Izaya's hand touched his, Shizuo tangled it in a strong grip and shook them together.

"Now, for a good fresh beginning for us, why don't we visit that new bakery shop? Their strawberry chiffon cake is the best!" Shizuo grinned widely as he pulled Izaya's hand and forced the raven to stand on his feet.

When Izaya felt Shizuo's hand patting the snow that has already piling on his shoulders, Izaya finally braved himself to believe that this was real, that he wasn't dreaming. It was really that Shizuo Heiwajima that was walking beside him, with wide smile on his face.

That he was smiling despite knowing that they used to be mortal enemies.

He never felt so fulfilled before. He felt like the burden in his heart and mind has finally lifted. He looked up happily at the illuminating lights that lit the wintry road.

Izaya finally smiled openly without hesitation, truly from the bottom of his heart.

**~ THE END ~**


End file.
